10 Easy Ways To Tell If He’s Serious About You


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Admittedly, it can be hard to read people these days. Does it matter how long it took to return your text? Did they just give you attitude because they only sent one word, or are they just really busy?

Is he really into you, or is he just playing you? And, how can you tell?

Below are a few general things to pay attention to when a man is courting you, that may help you realize whether or not he is really into you. I hope this insight is helpful, you know, since I’m a man and all.


He will take initiative on making plans with you.

No matter how busy a man is, if he really wants to see you, he will make time for you. No excuses, lies, or broken promises. If he is into you, he won’t be putting off making plans. In fact, he will be taking the initiative to make suggestions and set dates.

See it as a red flag if he is always ‘too busy’ for you, yet seems to have time to go out with his friends or is always posting photos from parties on Facebook.

He will invite you on a proper date.

None of this “Hey, I’m out with some friends, wanna meet up?” before he gets to know you nonsense. If a man wants to get to know you, he will put in the time and the effort to spend time one-on-one with you, and see what you are all about.

If he’s always trying to fit you into his pre-existing plans and you feel like the text he sent could have gone to 10 other girls at the same time, he’s just not that into you.

He won’t push for sex early on.

There is a fine line here. I am not saying that he will refuse it on a first, second, or third date if he is really into you. However, he won’t push it or get upset if it doesn’t happen. Can anyone guess why?

This is because he truly enjoys spending time with you, and is not looking to move forward strictly physically. He values you more than someone he is just trying to get into bed.

He will remember your interests and act on it.

Did you mention the smell of a candle that you like to him? Is there a book you enjoy reading or a show you enjoy seeing? A man who is into you will hang on your words and pay attention to detail.


He will drive a distance just to see you.

It doesn’t matter if you live 10 minutes or an hour away from each other, a man who is really into you will make the effort to come see you. Even if you are not far enough along for him to stay over at your place, or vice versa, he will come to you, take you out, and then drive home thinking about you the whole way.

He will not check his phone on dates.

Early on in a relationship, this is a great way to tell if a man is really paying attention to you or not. If he is out with you, who else matters? Of course if he is on-call or waiting for the phone to ring about an emergency, it is a different story.

But, otherwise, his full attention should be on you.

He will text you when he gets home from seeing you.

If you are not yet at the stage where you’re spending nights together, after his journey home from dropping you off (or the next morning), you should expect a text about what a great time he had or how excited he is to see you again.

However, if you feel like too much time is going by and you haven’t heard from him, don’t be afraid to shoot him a text to say the same thing. See how enthusiastically he responds.

He is okay with PDA, but keeps it G-Rated.

I certainly don’t mean that he will be ripping your clothes off during dinner, but a man who is interested in you will have no problem with holding your hand, walking arm in arm, or putting his arm around you in public.


He will stop going to bars or other places to meet women.

What would the point be if he found someone he is truly interested in?

He will tell you, and show you.

A man (or anyone) can talk a certain way, and then act another way. Words are nice, but they are always drowned out by actions. Early on in a relationship, watch what someone does more than what they say. Words can be dishonest, but actions can’t.

And mostly, be honest with yourself. A woman’s intuition is a powerful force and yet so many choose to ignore it. Don’t let yourself get played because you refused to see the signs you know you saw.

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  1. Stefanie Decker on March 28, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    I love reading your articles but I hate that I have to go to your website now to actually read them. Before (when I first subscribed) I was able to read the whole article in my email and on my phone email if I had to but now I have to click the link and go to the website. I am very disappointed 🙁

    Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2016 01:33:04 +0000 To: deckers3@hotmail.ca

    • chiharumon on March 28, 2016 at 9:41 pm

      I agree with you, Stefanie.

  2. Just a Gurrl on March 28, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    I like the finish on this article. My sweetheart is a bit of an absent-minded professor, but I never feel like I come in second-best.

  3. rlcarterrn on March 29, 2016 at 11:41 am

    To me these are really all common sense, yet obviously there are plenty of women who need to read this which really saddens me.

  4. Darina Together on April 1, 2016 at 5:18 am

    Hi James, a great one article! Love that you mention a woman’s intuition, it really helps if we can hear it. And we always hear it but deceive ourselves because of lack of self-confidence/seld-respect of a man is obviously wrong

  5. Rebecca on April 1, 2016 at 7:58 am

    Hi James,
    I was kind of following your posts and now I checked in to see what’s up here.

    I’m having an awesome meal all by myself here on Friday night. Sadly or fortunately none of the points you are making matters to me at this point as I’m purely alone lol

    Wish to worry and check on your awesome postings to see if I’m on the right track with some guy in a way, but oh well! I’m really happy to feed myself with the food I enjoy after delivering satisfaction to customers and my boss both.

    Wish me luck! Love your writing! You sound like you care about your life so much!


  6. Amber on April 1, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    Beautiful piece James.

  7. Lombukiso Dlamini on April 6, 2016 at 8:15 am

    hey James Lovely Read. I like and the tips I get are very effective

  8. Venistine on April 18, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    Reblogged this on Venistine Blog and commented:
    This article will guide you ‘who you are for’ and how’s important you for someone, & wherein you standing.

  9. nilza on April 23, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    I just read everything you write.It has helped me to love myself more and be able to choose the right partner.Thank you James!You rock!

  10. […] Licensed material used with permission byJames Michael Sama […]

  11. […] Licensed material used with permission byJames Michael Sama […]

  12. […] article was originally published at James Sama. Reprinted with permission from the […]

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