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10 Qualities that Define a Good Woman

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If reading this is your first introduction to my writing, I feel the need to give a disclaimer. I am writing this article because I published a male version quite some time ago, and fair is fair, ladies…I also typically write on equality, love, and respect.

That being said – while women are more likely to speak up about their dating dissatisfaction than men are, I think it’s equally as important to discuss both sides of the coin.

So, how does a good woman with class act when in a relationship?

A good woman moves past petty jealousies. 

While some jealousy [protectiveness] is natural in a relationship, it’s important that both partners are secure enough in themselves and each other to know where to focus their energy.

A mature woman will allow the man in her life to have his freedom, providing he doesn’t betray her trust.

A good woman is intellectually challenging.

There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?

When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone on that alone. Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics, will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.

A good woman is honest and genuine.

How long will you stay in a committed relationship with a beautiful or handsome liar? If you cannot trust your partner or believe what they say, how can you construct a solid, lasting foundation with them? You can’t.

A good woman is empathetic. 

Being compassionate, supportive, and encouraging towards your partner is a huge part of building a successful relationship. Nobody wants a person who is a “Debbie Downer” all the time and will not support them in their endeavors or their times of need.

A good woman is ambitious.

In addition to supporting and encouraging you pursuing your own goals and dreams, she will have her own as well. A mature woman has a vision for her future and chases after it with voracity.

A mature woman will be someone you can take on the world with. A partner in crime, a teammate in your relationship, and in life.

A good woman is consistent.

Being consistent is a valuable virtue because it lets your partner know that you really are who you are. You haven’t sent your “representative” to get to know them during the first couple of months of dating, but then suddenly transform once they’ve committed themselves to you.

To clarify the point, think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If someone is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how they will be acting towards you on a certain day, and that gets old no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.

A good woman puts in effort for you.

I am all about giving in relationships. I believe seeing your significant other happy should also make you happy – but it is important to understand that it goes both ways.

Her putting in effort doesn’t have to be much. It can be something as simple as slipping the waiter her debit card to pay for dinner. It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off of longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it – and neither should she.

If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, even after she got you a long time ago, it shows she cares about keeping you around.

A good woman carries herself with class.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. Class has nothing to do with the price tag on your outfit. Class is about the dignity you carry yourself with and the level of respect you show to those around you.

It doesn’t matter what kind of car someone is driving, what part of town they live in, or what brand of clothing they’re wearing – if they have an ugly attitude and embarrass others in public, none of it matters.

A good woman works to improve herself.

Whether it be committing to reading a new book or watching a documentary on a topic she wants to learn more about, a mature woman is always looking to improve in order to live a happier life.

In a generation of photoshop and ultra-thin fashion models, there is so much emphasis on improving the body that we cannot forget to also improve the mind.

A good woman will make you want to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you really are.

This is an identical point to the last one in the male version of this article, because it is equally true for both genders. A woman will empower those around her. She will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well. This not only includes friends and co-workers, but also significant others.

As Mark Twain said – Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Gentlemen, we all know that women like this are hard to find. If you are fortunate enough to get her attention, make sure you do what it takes to make her feel special, every day.

Want direct help from me to either find a good woman or become a good woman?

I frequently coach busy professionals who want a more fulfilling love life.

If you are looking to work with an experienced relationship coach who has helped hundreds of busy professionals find the love life they deserve, Click here to book a call on my calendar. 

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13 Comments

  1. Kevin Clingman on February 8, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    C.S. Lewis said “A woman’s heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her.” A good woman has a strong spiritual foundation and is equally yoked with her man. She helps his spiritual growth and he helps hers. Proverbs 31 describes the qualities of a good woman and one of the things I use to determine whether or not I would consider a relationship with her.

    • James Michael Sama on February 8, 2016 at 4:12 pm

      Everyone is different, Kevin. As an atheist I respectfully disagree with your approach but I also respect your right to live your life in the way of your choosing. The way I see it, if someone is happy, that’s all that counts in the end.

      – JMS

  2. J walter on February 10, 2016 at 9:02 pm

    If I could actually find a female that made an effort to be these things…

    I’m not perfect but I at least try.

    The females I meet don’t even try.

    • Chris Mursheno on September 5, 2017 at 11:45 pm

      It seems like not all, but most of the women I ve met are absolutely spoiled, self-centered bitches. They’ve been raised to believe that because they have beauty, that, that’s all they have to bring to the table. And unless a guy comes from a wealthy family or is a complete fathead, he’s worthless.
      I’m quite confident that it’s the other way around. I’ve known fashion models who were dazzling, but I would rather have root canal w/o anesthesia than be with the one I m thinking about. I t was all about her. I am proud of who I am. I’m college educated with a Master’s degree. I’m financially secure for the most part. And I ve done .ale modeling. I’m not going to waste my valuable time on any spoiled, self-centered narciccistic bitches like that no matter what she looks like.

      • Rukayat on July 12, 2018 at 9:44 am

        Women like that still exist. You have to know we are not perfect, buy some of us still try to be good women, but men take us for granted, treat us like trash cos we ain’t like those flashy models. Men don’t really want to be challenged, they see it as a slap on their power/authority.



      • Rukayat on July 12, 2018 at 9:46 am

        Women like that still exist. You have to know we are not perfect, but some of us still try to be good women, but men take us for granted, treat us like trash cos we ain’t like those flashy models. Men don’t really want to be challenged, they see it as a slap on their power/authority.



    • Khadijatu Iddrisu on March 1, 2018 at 11:46 am

      Come find me 🙂

  3. MyLittleEye on February 14, 2016 at 6:46 am

    Together, these good Male and Female qualities you define all represent being a decent partner and human being. We can strive towards them all, regardless of gender.

  4. made58 on February 25, 2016 at 12:50 am

    Reblogged this on HelpingOthersHelpThemselves.

  5. Societies Perfect Woman – Writing the World Away on December 6, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    […] most articles are written by men. And I found one of the articles very interesting. According to James M. Sama, an owner of a dating advice website, there are ten qualities that define a good woman. I have […]

  6. Carole on October 28, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    Because of your article defining a good man I have actually met one who used a lot of your prose in his profile he is a very good man kind gentle caring romantic intelligent and every other thing you described I thank you very much for that article

  7. Ngozi on February 18, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Pls how do you describe a man that presents himself to the woman he wants to marry.Telling her She must be submissive, Tolerant,respectful,to him and if she cant agree with him the door is wide open and even if he goes crazy she must never follow fire for fire but always know the man is the head.And then the first few months of know her presents all this and send her to the gym so he could get out a shape he wants den stop her from eating things she is used to.Practically changes her from whom she is.What do you say about this?

  8. Atu on May 23, 2018 at 4:53 am

    Any man who is serious in a relationship will notice the good qualities of a lady, but if not serious they will trash every effort a woman tries to make in order to impress their men.

    Women be careful of men who want to cheat you that they love. Open your eyes wide.

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