5 Things Every Man Needs to do in a Relationship


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What’s more important than starting a relationship? Developing and maintaining one that keeps both partners happy. Not letting things get stale. Keeping it fresh. A good man understands that effort and romance needs to extend far beyond the beginning stages of a relationship. The same effort that it took to get her attention is what it will also take to keep her attention.

It might be easier than you think – all it takes is a little effort and attention to detail. Here are 5 ways to keep her happy.



Always be willing to learn new things.

Whether it be learning new things about her (emotionally or physically), or learning about life and becoming better in general – consistent improvement is a big part of keeping both of you happy while in a relationship.

Comfort is important, but complacency is deadly. Becoming too comfortable is the enemy of progress, which leads to boredom and tension in the relationship. We must work daily to become the best version of ourselves while remaining the man she fell for in the first place.


Keep courting her.

Sure, you’re in a relationship…but are you still courting her? Are you still showing her how much she means to you, even though you’ve already “gotten” her? It’s important to keep courtship alive, because when we stop showing effort to the person we’re with, the relationship begins to dwindle.


Surprise her.

Leave a dress on the bed with a note to wear it and where and when to meet you. Bring her flowers for no reason. Plan a weekend away.

Even just, cook dinner for her one night before she gets home from work.

Whether you’ve just started dating or have been together for years, if you’ve paid attention you’ll know what she does and doesn’t like, so you will be able to plan around her interests. What’s even more important about what you plan, is that you actually put in the effort (key word) to plan it.



Give her your attention.

This one might seem like it doesn’t need to be said – but it does. It needs to be said because most of us are busy. Very busy. We have businesses, or jobs, or crazy schedules, or smartphones or, you name it. All of these things constantly hold our attention and it’s difficult to cut it all off for awhile, but that’s what makes it special when we do.

Give the woman in your life the respect of your full attention. Don’t allow your relationship to become two people who just use their phones while sitting on the same couch.

Sometimes, it’s important to just…listen to her.


Show her she is desired.

Desire is more than just attraction. Any physical connection can breed attraction – but real desire, the deep lusting for a person you truly care for, is only built from a more profound relationship.

Small things like holding her hand or putting your arm around her will show her that you enjoy being close to her. More specific things like complimenting the unique things about her that you love will show her that you pay close attention to her and are still drawn to her no matter how long you’ve been together.

When it comes to desire, men express themselves physically and often require that in order to feel emotional closeness. But what is important for us to always remember is that a woman needs to feel emotionally close to a man before she is comfortable being physically close to him.

In short: Chemistry.



Of course, romance in relationship should go both ways, but it’s important for us as men to keep communication honest and open. If we put in the extra effort to keep the woman in our life happy, it will show her that we truly care and help eliminate any insecurities she might have.

It’s not only up to men to keep chivalry and romance alive. Women also must remember to appreciate acts of respect men show to them, and settle for nothing less.

You don’t have to be the perfect man to make her happy, just be the man you said you were when you first met her.


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  1. Debbie on February 1, 2016 at 9:41 am

    That last sentence sums up the entire article perfectly.

  2. Little Miss Menopause on February 1, 2016 at 10:38 am

    When you leave a dress out for her, with a note where to meet you while wearing it, make sure it’s one she fits in! Just saying….
    (Loved article!)

  3. groverkaram on February 1, 2016 at 11:11 am

    Really liked your article and your blog. You really seem to know what your talking about. I just started my journey would really appreciate some feedback http://bit.ly/1ZQi3oq

  4. TonyT on February 1, 2016 at 11:21 am

    Thanks Sama. I really enjoyed your article. Always well written. Thanks for being a blessing. God bless.

  5. brian BEASLEY on February 2, 2016 at 12:58 am

    Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device

  6. stylishgiftdecor on February 3, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    Lovely article! I am fortunate to have a husband who knows I love to be surprised!

  7. Chani on February 5, 2016 at 11:57 am

    You hit the nail on the head… Great article and way of life..

  8. Rob W on February 19, 2016 at 6:06 am

    James while I agree with this. You have left the most important piece of information a man should do.

    A man has to keep his partner focused on reality, and not their biological makeup, which allows women to think up all different kinds of disney ideas.
    Once a man can master this, then everything you said works perfectly.

  9. […] article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog. Follow him on Twitter and […]

  10. […] originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog. […]

  11. Corin on August 31, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    You are an amazing guy! Everything written is spot on. Truly enjoy the read. I sure hope lots of good guys read this and take it to heart. Keep up the great work.

    • James Michael Sama on August 31, 2017 at 10:42 pm

      Thanks so much Corin, I’m just a regular guy who writes his opinions on his blog. 🙂 But I very much appreciate you saying that!

  12. Laurence Honey on September 5, 2018 at 5:41 am

    Hi James, really great article! All your advice is absolutely spot on. Us men get a bad rap sometimes, but there are a lot of good guys out there and we do our best. Nothing is ever easy, especially in a relationship but I think like Debbie said above, your last sentence sums it up perfectly. Just be who you said you were and be the best you can be.

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