The Type Of Love Our Society Needs

Many of us have different definitions of, and experiences with love. We all grew up in different households with different families under different circumstances. But I think we can all agree that love is a positive emotion felt deeply for someone you care about.


More specifically:

1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. Sexual passion or desire.

Not only is love being undervalued in our society, it is being pushed down our list of priorities. It is being passed over for ideologies, for possessions, for financial success – yes, all things worth pursuing, but ultimately meaningless if we don’t have anyone to share them with.

The thing about love is, it is one of the very few things that all of us share, regardless of where we are from, what we do or don’t believe in, or any other circumstances. It binds us together as human beings and is something that every last one of us craves. We just all have different ways of showing it.

But, in order to accept this type of love from anyone else, we first need to have it for ourselves. I don’t mean the cliche, social media-esque self love that is reliant on likes and comments of photos of us. Real self-love is the recognition of our worth, our value, and what we deserve. Only after we recognize that will we develop the ability to set our standards and accept nothing less.

Once we do, though, we can go a step beyond receiving this love into something even better: Being able to give it. The realization that the best kind of happiness is when you are happy because you’ve made someone else happy. The type of love that makes you care less about where you are and what you have – and more about who you’re with.

The type of love that this generation is missing only comes from building real connections with real people. Social media is fantastic and none of you would be reading this article if it didn’t exist, but so many of us are so concerned with projecting a happy life online, that we forget to actually work on building one.


If we want to feel the love that makes life worthwhile, we have to come out from behind the computer screens and smartphones and really experience each other. To separate our normal habits of perpetual replacement of items that become obsolete and clothing that goes out of style, from the way we treat each other. To stop thinking of each other as replaceable and to understand that a world of unique experiences and insights resides in each one of us.

To truly love someone is to see them as an asset in your life. To understand how they make you, and all of your experiences, better. To link your emotions to theirs. To share in their sadness and to lend them your strength during their hard times.

When you love someone – when you really love someone, it’s not a matter of convenience. It’s not only something you do when times are good, it is the very foundation of staying together when times are not as good. When they are bad. When life is tough. That’s when you pull those you love closer, not push them away. It’s the cornerstone of your willingness to fix something you might feel is broken instead of just throwing it away.

That’s the type of love this society is missing. The type that serves as a base. As a foundation. As a starting point for a life together. And we need more of it.


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7 thoughts on “The Type Of Love Our Society Needs

  1. “A Tree, a Rock, a Cloud”—learning to love is a social process, and the earlier the better learned. For parents, teaching children how to love is the greatest gift you can give them. I’ve known my longest and closest friend since the age of 3. 60 years ago, our mothers put us side by side for “play dates”—we were neighbors in New York. At 3, without language skills developed, we played together and learned to connect and communicate without language. In elementary school, we were intramural champions of the 3-legged race. Teachers and coaches from 5 schools would stand in awe as we left the others half a track field behind. We were so mentally connected, we just sailed across the field. In upper elementary school, we sat on the floor of her room and she taught me what she learned in Hebrew school–I was Lutheran. At 63, even long distance, we can sense if the other is having difficulties. This laid the groundwork for love of self, love of another person, and love for my husband. No games. Learning to love takes practice, lots and lots and lots of it, and it is glorious. Thank you for another wonderful post, James.

  2. Thanks for this article and all the ones before this , God and you have helped me leave a terrible 8 yr relationship unknowingly and know my worth. I now have a loving husband and I am happier than I have ever been…thanks again for your knowledge and motivation, the world needs more great men like yourself Mr. Sama

  3. Wonderful article James! As always, you give an enlightening and refreshing take on love and relationships. Keep it up!
    I just have a question and I hope you can help me with this. I’ve been told that I think love is all or nothing when it really isn’t that at all. Am I wrong to think this way and expect the same when I am a relationship? Or would having this sort of attitude lead me to nothing but heartache? Shouldn’t I give 100% of myself when I love someone? Or would doing so just lead me to having unrealistic expectations and disappointment?
    I’d appreciate your help in shedding light into this Thank you James, and God bless you!

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