10 Thoughts He Has When He Says ‘I Love You’


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The word ‘love’ takes on many different forms and meanings. There are casual ‘luv ya’ texts to a friend, the love we share between family members, the love we have for a best friend, and then there is the deep, intimate love we feel for another. The type of love that can be expressed by no other way than the genuine, look-you-in-the-eye: “I love you.

When a man reaches the point with a woman where he professes this feeling to her, there are many different implications that come along with the statement. The words themselves are only words, what gives them meaning is the commitments he makes when he says them.



Your happiness is my happiness.

To love someone is to link your emotions to theirs. To share in their happiness and to lend them your strength to heal their pain. As Robert A. Heinlein eloquently stated: Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

I think you’re perfect, even though I know you’re not.

Obviously, nobody is perfect. When a man really loves a woman though – everything about her becomes beautiful. And not just physical beauty, but her quirks or the way she walks or talks or talks to babies or puppies. He knows that she has flaws, but he doesn’t care, because love is about fully accepting the good along with the bad.

I will keep my promises through my actions.

Just like ‘I love you’ are only words, so are promises when they are not kept. The right man will understand that people who make promises do not deserve your respect – people who keep promises do. He will never stop proving to you that he says what he means, and means what he says.

I respect you.

You cannot love someone you do not respect. When you do love someone, though, your respect for them grows deeper. You respect their thoughts, feelings, and opinions as if they were your own. You take these things into consideration when making decisions that affect you both. And perhaps most importantly, you never act in ways that betray the trust of those you respect.


I trust you.

Another cornerstone of love, is trust. As the anonymous quote goes: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to. But the trust that comes along with love is not just trusting this person will not betray you. It is a trust that they are making the same commitments to you when they say these words back to you. It is the trust that you can count on them as they can count on you. It is the trust that they will be honest with you, as you are to them.

I will never stop putting in effort for you.

Love is not just a word, it’s not just a noun – it’s a verb. It requires action to truly exist. It requires effort. It requires consistency. When it comes to love, our generation seems to be setting off fireworks. There is a spectacular display that is quite often beautiful, but unpredictable and ends as quickly as it began. Leaving behind only the memory of the experience.

Older generations set fires. They would begin to burn with a small smoldering flame and eventually evolve into a roaring blaze as they continued to stoke it. The right man will understand that the effort it took to capture your heart will be the same effort it will take to keep it.

I am here for you, no matter what.

Being in love and committing to someone is not a fair-weather endeavor. It is not a part time job. You are either in, or you’re out. This means standing beside her on the sunny days, but also holding the umbrella over her on the rainy days. Taking care of her when she is sick, comforting her in a time of need, taking on life’s challenges together.

Commitment is not a matter of convenience, it is a matter of staying true to what you said you were going to do, long after you said it.

I can picture a woman with you.

When a man falls in love with a woman, his life is no longer just his life. “You and I” have become “us,” and when he begins to think about his future, she is in it with him. To fall in love with a woman is to picture the potential of a life together and all of the joys it has to offer – only they will be enhanced, because he will be spending it with her.


I don’t know what life was like without you.

It may hit you when you receive an affectionate text message or when you’re joking about something together walking side by side in the city, but suddenly you realize that parts of your life seem like a bit of a blur before this woman came into it. Of course it’s important for us to all keep a grip on our past and the lessons it taught us, but suddenly the heartache seems to fade away and your attention shifts to the illuminated future.

I don’t care about your past, I just want to be your future.

Along with love, comes perspective. Maturity teaches us that we all have a past, parts of which are better than others. The point is that while we always carry our past with us, it doesn’t have to define us. And when we love someone – it is certainly not what defines them, either. We begin to create our own world with this person. Our own memories. Our own traditions. Our own life together.

We realize that who someone was, is not who they are. The windshield is bigger than the rearview for a reason – it’s fine to glance back every now and then, but if you focus on it for too long, you will probably crash.

Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible. – Thomas a Kempis


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  1. Erynn Haskins on February 19, 2015 at 11:33 am

    Great post! Thanks for sharing this, its always nice to be able to understand a man’s love language

    • arrowlynx on February 19, 2015 at 11:59 am

      This isn’t man love language and you know it………….

      • Erynn Haskins on February 19, 2015 at 12:28 pm

        Why wouldnt it be?..

      • James Michael Sama on February 19, 2015 at 1:16 pm

        I am a man, and I wrote it from my own personal perspective, sooo…

        Can you elaborate a little on exactly what points you disagree with, and why?


        – James

      • arrowlynx on February 19, 2015 at 2:27 pm

        Ok, so let me say it from my!!!!! experiences with my species and my!!!! personal point of view……
        I think the sentence “I love you” rarely (perhaps you are an exception?) comes from men who are confident and good with women because he shows in what mood he is and nowadays he would avoid it to say so. Why should he use such a cheesy and bathetic phrase (thanks to Hollywood). It comes from men who are needy, who would kill to please a woman, who believe in these unrealistic Hollywood romances that put women on a pedestal and makes men their jester and believe me I am very sad about it that we men have fallen so deep. “I love you” is characterless and I am (really positively) surprised that there are apparently confident men who say that and apparently confident women who believe that. If so, well so much the better………… perhaps it gets its pristine meaning back…… but until then I keep remaining a disbeliever……

      • Erynn Haskins on February 19, 2015 at 4:17 pm

        I’m sorry you feel that way. maybe you are a disbeliever because you’ve actually never experienced it, but u cant rule it out that some men do think/feel this way. ..

      • arrowlynx on February 19, 2015 at 4:34 pm

        Thank’s for your pity and psychoanalysis but I think I will survive….. 🙂

  2. AFruitFli on February 19, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Reblogged this on AFruitFli's Blog.

  3. lolastar8 on February 19, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    I love your way of thinking.

  4. Jill Ypanto on February 22, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Hi James,

    Thank you for that most encouraging and inspiring words.. I’ve been reading your blog and always been looking forward to see your good insights because it uplifts me everytime I read from a good gentleman that speaks really from his heart.. 🙂

    Well, I just have one question that I want to be clarify, A man I knew whom my ex now.. Kept telling me that he loves me but when we broke up and I tried to ask for his forgiveness, he just replied me back that he “doesn’t want drama, so he thinks it won’t going to work.”

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    Thank you so much..

  5. J. A. on February 23, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    If you have to read a blog to figure out how to love someone, you’re not doing it right.

    • James Michael Sama on February 23, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      You’re probably right! Good thing this blog doesn’t tell anyone how to love somebody. I’m not really sure if there could be a guide for that, anyway.

  6. Ron on March 31, 2015 at 12:21 am

    I was on the same page as our poster above about 5 years ago. This goes way above and beyond the Hollywood “Lake House” effect you might be referring to. I met a woman 3 years ago that has changed my outlook. I’m not her jester. I’m not her doormat. I put her on a pedestal because she deserves it and she treats me the same way. Through her actions, not just her words, has she shown me that kind of love and respect I have never experienced before and I’m pushing 50. I could live without her just as she could me, but I can’t imagine my life without her. Maybe it’s just dumb luck I found her but I’m not letting her go. This is no troll brother I truly hope you find something this amazing because this is on an entirely different plane than that hollywood stereotype. Best wishes and thank you James for such great insight 🙂

    • Kellerty on August 18, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Amen! Well said…
      Finally a positive comment! Those of us who have found a best friend whom we wouldn’t let go aren’t just “lucky”. Mine is a gift whom I cherish and the return is wonderful.
      I’ll leave it at that… you and James just get it.

  7. Venistine on May 19, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    Reblogged this on Venistine Blog and commented:
    Unbelievable….Yes, Unbelievable…..

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