11 Things He Secretly Loves About You


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In previous articles we have discussed things that men secretly love, as well as things women secretly love. Some, admittedly…not so secret. But, many of these points were a bit more general and I think it is a worthy conversation to get into some more specific things that men love about the woman in their life – but may not tell her (though, they should).

When a man is falling in love with a woman, there are many small or less obvious things about her and her personality that will bring a smile not only to his face, but also to his heart.

So, what are some things that the man in your life probably loves about you – but may not have told you?

He loves the way he smiles when he thinks about you.

It doesn’t matter if he’s stressed out at work, stuck in traffic, or just bored scrolling through Facebook. If a man is lucky, he will have a woman who comes into his life that can make him smile without even being in the same zip code. Just the thought of her or hearing her name will light him up like fireworks on the 4th of July. What’s not to love about that?

He loves when he makes you smile.

Have you ever noticed a guy who seemed to pick up some momentum when he was being funny? Even sorta-semi-funny but not really…but dammit, he was trying. A man loves to see the woman in his life smiling, laughing, and having a good time. What’s more is, he loves to be the source of that smile. Even if it means making dumb jokes for her to laugh at.

He loves being physically close to you.

Whether the two of you are cuddled up on the couch or standing next to each other waiting for your cab – a man loves being close to the woman in his life. It’s a great way to feel connected with someone both physically and emotionally.

It’s hard to beat the feeling of the woman you care about laying on your chest or resting her head on your shoulder. Don’t ask me why, it’s just science.

He loves when you play with his hair while he’s driving.

I wish I could give you a reason for this, but all I can say it’s the best thing ever.

He loves the way you smile after he kisses you.

You know that euphoric rush that comes over you when you kiss the right person? That feeling of endorphins and emotions that seems to take you over. That spark you feel when you kiss him or her. Sometimes, there is no other reaction to that feeling than to just…smile.

He loves when he catches you looking at him.

Men, like anyone else, crave feeling wanted. Many times we are the pursuers in a relationship and we feel as though we are consistently trying to prove ourselves in order to get attention, a first date, a second date…you get the idea.

When we are with a woman who we feel really wants to be with us…who gives us the same affection and effort we give her…who we feel might just fall in love with us…there is no better feeling in the world.

He loves when you do that funny little thing you probably don’t even know you do.

Maybe you crinkle your nose when you laugh, or maybe you hit him on the shoulder when you’re (a little) mad. Maybe you play with your hair when you get a little nervous. Whatever it is, you may just do it naturally, but he notices. He notices because that is one of the many little things that separate you from any other woman he has ever met – and he loves it.

He loves how natural things feel with you.

I was going to title this point “He loves how he doesn’t have to try” to convey the idea that things should just come easily, but obviously every man (and woman) has to put in consistent effort and ‘try’ in order to make a relationship work. But, two people can just be completely comfortable together and their relationship will feel natural. They will be content, but not in a complacent, bored way.

They will be content in a deep sigh, look into each other’s eyes and think “so, this is how it’s supposed to be…” way.

He loves going to you for advice.

When you really respect someone for who they are and the things they think, you value their opinion in ways that trump the thoughts of others. You want to get their advice. You want to hear what they think about your latest conundrum. You want to get their input and perspective. If the man in your life not only asks for your opinion, but really takes it to heart and factors it into his decisions, take it as a great sign.

He loves when you get physical with him.

No, I don’t just mean sexually (though, no guy will complain about the woman in his life initiating sex). I am referring more to the little things. The random hugs, the random kisses on his cheek. The random hand on his knee while you’re sitting next to him. The arm around him while you’re walking.

These are things that, dare I say, are more intimate than sex. Any two people who are attracted to each other can have sex – but the smaller physical gestures are things you only do with someone you really care about. They are things that literally connect the two of you together. They are things that combine your energy and make “you and me” into “us.”

He loves looking into your eyes.

Sometimes, looking into another person’s eyes can be a little awkward. You’re not really sure where to look, which eye to look at, or maybe you should just look at the bridge of their nose…

But, not with you. The awkwardness dissipates and is replaced by excitement. It is replaced by hope. It is replaced by love. A love that can only grow between two people who open the windows to their souls and allow one to reach through embrace the other. A calm serenity that makes you want to hold your gaze, not turn away.

When a woman is right for a man…I mean, when she is really right for him, there will never be a list long enough to explain all of the things he loves about her. There will never be a word strong enough to describe how he feels. There will never be a way for him to communicate how deeply he cares for her.

All he will be able to do when she asks him ‘what that look is for,’ is smile, shake his head, and say ‘oh…nothing…’

Because sometimes, that’s all he can muster. But believe me, it is just his way of telling you that no words will ever suffice. Only love will.


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  1. Ginger on January 26, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    Really sweet…. I love the part about when he’s looking at you and you say “What’s that look for” and he says “uh, nothing”. I get that a lot from my guy so I appreciate the interpretation! 🙂

  2. MeAndDating on January 27, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    I love the way a woman smells; no two are the same.
    I love the sounds a woman makes as I lead to her to the promised land…
    I love the way she falls asleep in my arms.
    I love the smell of her hair.
    I love the faces she pulls when she does her make-up in front of a mirror.
    I love her frown when she can’t make up her mind.
    I love the sound of her laugh.
    I love the way my heart swells with pride when I walk into a venue with her.

    Now if only I could find Her…

    • Cary on January 6, 2016 at 7:40 am

      Hahahah a if only we could find her

    • MATEJA on January 9, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      Maybe you will be wound 😉

  3. Jaketanakkarakter on July 4, 2015 at 1:55 am

    So sweet

  4. […] article was originally published at jamesmsama.com. Reprinted with permission from the […]

  5. KBSthaBoss on April 19, 2017 at 1:17 am

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    Well-said 👌🏾

  6. DN on September 20, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Great read!

  7. […] article was originally published at James M Sama. Reprinted with permission from the […]

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