Piecing Together The Relationship Puzzle


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I read a quote once that was something to the effect of “falling in love is effortless, but relationships take work.” Anyone who has felt their heart skip at the mere sight or thought of someone can attest to the fact that there is no conscious effort needed to make this happen. It just, happens.


It happens in the way that you feel nostalgia when you see a toy from your childhood or hear a song that signifies a special moment you shared with someone. It happens in the way that you, for some reason, enjoy a certain type of food over another type. It’s just, there. It’s part of you, and you didn’t choose it.

But what we can choose, is how to act on these feelings. And when two people give each other those butterflies, they often times choose to come together and get to know each other. Why do they have these feelings towards each other? What makes each other tick? Where is the source of this curiosity, and what should we do with it?

This is when we begin to build a relationship together. It’s something that does take conscious effort because you are putting together a puzzle where the pieces are parts of both of your lives, and you’ve got to figure out how to fit them together to make one, big, seamless picture. One that from a distance, looks like a photograph. Only the two of you will know the effort it took to make a lot of small parts into one big one, because each situation is unique.


Not only will each relationship be unique, each relationship you have will be unique. Every new person in your life will bring new pieces of the puzzle to fill the spaces left by former flames which have faded, but they will never replace them. The new puzzle will be completely different than the last, full of new memories, traditions, and experiences.

Some will be easier to put together than others, and we have to be honest with ourselves when some of the pieces just don’t fit. This is difficult because there are times where we have much of the puzzle finished, but only then it becomes clear that the rest of it will not come together. In these situations, the only choice is to put the pieces back in the box and try again.

This takes work, effort, and resiliency. But it’s important to know that your pieces of the puzzle remain consistent. Nobody can ever take any of them away from you. Though, sometimes, people will leave a few of theirs behind for you to hold onto. New pieces of yourself that were only discovered through your love of another.


So when something doesn’t work out as you expected, don’t lose hope. There will be someone who enters your life when you least expect it who has missing pieces in their puzzle that yours will fit into perfectly.


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  1. Pamela Ross on August 11, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    As usual, James, you have a way with words. This was a perfect blog post! Something I needed to hear, as well 🙂 Thanks again!

  2. Richard on August 11, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    again, so very well said

    • Cordella Rubin on July 17, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      Yes the Puzzel to relationship must fit and complete a relationship.

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