3 Keys To Moving On After A Breakup


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If you have ever had a relationship, chances are you have experienced the end of one. Perhaps you were the one who decided to end it, perhaps you weren’t. Or, maybe, circumstances dictated the outcome that neither of you could control.

Either way, it stings. There is no sugar coating it. Unless you amicably parted ways just because you both understood it wasn’t working, or if you married the first person you’ve ever been with – you know this feeling.

While there is no formula designed to emotionally move on after a breakup (yet), there are steps that, when taken, make the process easier.


First – Say everything you need to say.

If you expect to have closure, you cannot leave words or feelings unsaid. Especially if you were on the receiving end of the breakup, you may not have had a chance or the mental clarity at the time to express everything you were feeling. If you don’t do this – your thoughts will continue floating around in your mind like a corked message in a bottle, until you open it up.

Second – Cut off your communication.

Now that you’ve taken the message out of the bottle, it’s time to re-cork it and throw it back into the ocean. Some people will say that you should be able to remain friends with an ex after a breakup, but if this is at all possible, it probably won’t be for a long time.

Cutting off communication will give you less reminders of your feelings and more emotional freedom to get on with your life.

Third – Don’t let your past contaminate your present.

One of the biggest challenges in life is thinking about opening yourself up to someone new after being hurt by someone old. But despite the emotional difficulty, we can’t forget that it does no good to force a person to start behind the 8-ball because of actions put forth by somebody else. Each situation is unique and different, and we owe it the justice of being treated as such.

Image by Rog Walker


I have also written 7 Ways To Get Over Your Ex and Don’t Just Go Through Relationships, Grow Through Relationships, both along the same theme of effectively moving forward – but actions mean nothing if you are not in the right mindset to give them meaning.

I speak from personal experience when I say if you implement these three simple (but not easy) methods, you will heal faster and realize that you can, and will, be happy again.

If you are reading this, you have a 100% success rate of getting through challenges in your life. Remember, tough times don’t last, but tough people do.

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  1. Brittany on August 8, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    What if you started with step 2? Never got to say everything and now it is all bottled up and I constantly think about it

  2. Dave Adkins on August 9, 2014 at 4:02 am

    You have it all wrong bud! Your gf probably broke up with you because you’re a pretentious homosexual that thinks his BMW 3 series is cool. You try too hard in your “brooks brothers” suits. You’re not original, you’re not impressive and you’re for damn sure not what you portray yourself to be. You’re a text book dork that has access to his parents bank account. 🙂

    P.S. You’re a squid

    • James Michael Sama on August 9, 2014 at 8:37 am

      Hi Dave!

      Thanks for visiting the site! Though I think you may have the wrong person. While I do like the 3 series, I drive an Audi S5 and I pay all of my own bills (with revenue from this website that you bring me by visiting it, so thanks!)

      Furthermore my girlfriend battled breast cancer throughout out relationship, which I stood by and supported her through. So perhaps a little more information on whose relationship you’re judging would be useful before making baseless comments.

      But anyway, thanks again for helping to pay my bills by coming here to comment. Have a great day!

      – JMS

  3. jessej on August 16, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    I’m glad I’m helping you pay your bills as well JMS! haha

  4. Ryan on February 11, 2015 at 1:46 am

    with regards to step 1, how do you say everything you think and feel after they have left, if they asked you never to contact them again? I wont call/see her out of respect, but there are still so many things to say.

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