If you’re reading this, you’re witnessing history. Out of nearly 300 articles on this website, this is the very first one that will go into any detail whatsoever on the topic of sex. That being said – I am, unfortunately, expecting to lose readers because of this topic. Before you unsubscribe, I would ask you to read my points here to the end, think it through, and avoid any knee-jerk emotional reaction.
This is certainly not a “how-to” article or a “10 ways to turn them on” piece you’d find in Cosmopolitan. It’s more of a series of thoughts I have had after multiple observations that whenever intimacy is mentioned in a discussion, a surprising amount of people put some sort of “blame” on men, and ignore one very simple fact:
Women like sex, too.
Mature, consensual, responsible, adult, steamy, passionate, romantic, sex. Or, hey, whatever kind you’re into.
That is the only type of sex I am discussing here. There will undoubtedly be readers who bring up “yeah, but…” situations that are not relevant to this particular discussion, let’s please do our best to remain mature and on-track about an important and necessary subject to converse about when it comes to dating and relationships.
What we are talking about here is a beautiful and natural part of a relationship that brings two people together. Of course there are those who will misuse it and be irresponsible, but so is the case with alcohol, fast cars, food, et cetera.
One of the interesting things I find about the topic of sex is that people frequently tell me that “a real gentleman” would not be intimate with a woman in this way (presumably until marriage) in order to “preserve her dignity.” Well, that’s all well and good if that’s what you believe, but that’s what you believe, and do not have the power to govern how anyone else chooses to live their life.
If you want to talk about respecting a woman and “preserving her dignity,” then what about what SHE wants? In my experience, women desire sexual activity just as much as men do. If a woman wants to be active with you, would it not be disrespectful to actually deny her wishes?
Why is it so often assumed that sex is a result of a man coercing or persuading a woman into doing something she doesn’t want to? Furthermore, why is it seen as disrespectful to a woman to be sexually active with her? This, I find, archaic, unjustified, and ridiculous.
What we are inadvertently doing here is vilifying a natural, beautiful, mutually pleasurable (if you do it right) experience that two people can share in together. By doing this, we are taking away freedom of expression from both men and women, and we are perpetuating the (false) idea that consensual sex equates to disrespect or something of the sort.
Consensual sex is not the objectification of women. In fact, it is the exact opposite. It is the appreciation and learning about a woman in her most genuine form. It is the exploration of her thoughts and desires. Her passions and fantasies. The very core of her being.
Being a chivalrous gentleman is not about abstaining from sex. Being a chivalrous gentleman is respecting the boundaries of the woman in your life. Building the experience together. Not forcing anything, ever. It is about treating her with the proper dignity and respect – and that can very much happen within the borders of a sexually active relationship.
Furthermore, consider the decrepit state of Sex Education in America. The decline of biological understanding among our youth, and the widespread issue of teenage pregnancy. Perhaps, if we stopped brushing the topic under the rug, those who need to learn about it, actually would.
So, I submit to you, embrace your own desires as well as the man or woman you care about, as if they were perfectly beautiful and natural – because they are.
Did you enjoy this article? Please use the buttons below to share it with your friends and enter your email here to be notified when new content is published!
Subscribe to Blog via Email
Click here to connect with me on Twitter -> [twitter-follow screen_name=’JamesMSama’]