5 Types Of People To Avoid Dating
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[social_warfare]
Dating is a trial and error process. A “numbers game” so to speak. One of the only ways to determine what type of person you really want to be with, is to be with people who aren’t completely right for you.
But, there are ways to avoid unnecessary heartache and skip over the wrong types of people in a better attempt to find the right one.
Here are five types of people to avoid dating.
*Note – Lately I have been having some trouble with publishing posts, not all points are showing up in the article. If you see less than five here, please try refreshing the page. I am working on resolving this ASAP.
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The control freak.
While this one should be obvious, often times the “control freak” type can be disguised in the beginning of a relationship as someone who just, pays a lot of attention.
Eventually, though, you will begin to feel a little more closed-in and unable to make your own decisions. Additionally, the decisions you do make could feel judged or looked down upon. This is in an effort to mold you into the person he/she wants you to be in order to obtain a role of “power” in the relationship.
Relationships aren’t about power or control – they are about cooperation and collaboration. For this reason, a man or woman who is a control freak is unable to build a healthy relationship with an equal and should be avoided.
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The constant complainer.
Dating an eternal pessimist is akin to trying to go for a swim with an anchor tied to your ankle. There is a difference between two people balancing each other out, and one who drags another down emotionally.
To try to build a relationship someone who is always complaining or seeing the negative side of things will be increasingly difficult over time because their attitude will begin to rub off on you (if you let it), and while you may not become as negative, you could easily stop always trying to see the silver lining of a situation because they will keep shooting you down.
If you are a naturally positive person, being with someone else who has a similar attitude will elevate your level of happiness, and anyone who does the opposite should be moved on from.
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Silly Putty.
Most of you reading this probably remember Silly Putty. It was a super flexible substance that you could do whatever you wanted with. You could even pull it so hard that it separated apart, but then you could just put it back together again and continue to mold it.
Sure, it was fun to play with, but it wasn’t your significant other. Flexibility and compromise in a relationship is important, but so is having your own opinions and point of view.
Being with someone who doesn’t have their own identity and relies on you for every decision will drain you of energy, and not to mention – bore you to death. As an intelligent, independent adult – your best partner is someone with the same qualities.
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The center of the universe.
The opposite of Silly Putty is that hardened Play-Doh stuff. Remember that stuff? When it would get hard it would have no flexibility at all – it would just stay the way it is and break apart if you tried to do anything with it.
So it goes with someone who is so self-absorbed that everything needs to revolve around them, requiring them to do essentially nothing but be catered to. We should never want to change our partner, but their willingness to be flexible and compromise is essential to ensuring the happiness of both teammates in a relationship.
Additionally, someone who is so concerned with their own self is much less likely to be concerned with your happiness.
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The ultra-materialistic.
Unfortunately, our society and social media have blurred the lines between people who appreciate nice things, and those who live their lives around them. I have noticed this more often lately, as people who have plenty of depth and character are judged because they choose to drive a nice car or wear nice clothes.
That being said, there are of course, still many people out there who will only look to you because of what you can provide for them. While we could just say “gold-diggers,” that term is typically applied to women and I’m keeping this article gender-neutral.
Aside from those who try to use you for what you have, there are those who will try to use what they have to “get” you. People who are always trying to impress you with their possessions probably don’t have much else to offer, and should be avoided.
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With billions of people in the world, it is impossible to categorize everyone – but there are certain traits we need to be cognizant of in order to maximize our chances of happiness in a relationship.
What are some other “types” of people you have learned to avoid? Let us know in the comment section below!
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You’ve left out the Abusers! The ones that abuse you verbally and emotionally (or even physically, then it’s time to drop everything and get out the door quick as you can)… Tear you down until you’re a mess then coddle you until you’re okay and rely on them and tear you down just as quickly again.
Co-dependant. Someone who relys on sources outside themselves to help them feel valued ie other people’s attention, compliments and doing what they have to just to receive them.
Yes, I agree with this one. It’s often found in people who are too attached to a parent, like the guy whose mom still washes his clothes for him.
Reblogged this on mynewbeginnings2012 and commented:
So true!
Speaking from a man’s perspective, the three most common types I women I’ve met in my numerous dating adventures are: 1) The Rebounder – more than half the women I’ve encountered on dating sites are on the rebound. 2) The baby-brainer – a woman whose most common thought of each day is about her desire for motherhood 3) The Visa Vixen – a woman whose biggest problem in life is her pending visa expiration. In London it usually American and Russian women.
The drama queen or king; those who are always stirring up things with their immaturity, and surrounded by people who do the same. I know life has its crazy moments, its troubles, etc – which is why you really don’t need to go looking for more. People who look to make their lives exciting by causing trouble are a headache nobody needs, and boring to boot.
Reblogged this on anitanyoung and commented:
For all my single people out there…beware of these kinds.
This is so wonerful and educating,but please,I need your opinion on how to deal with yourself when you feel you’re extremely jealous and have a bit too much control.Thanks.
[…] This article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog. […]
How about the person who cannot separate himself or herself from the past? The one who has been so hurt by circumstances with another partner that it colors the way he or she deals with you? Eventually, if they never learn to trust you or to accept that you are nothing like their ex, you have to move on. This is sad.
The “Discreet” one- the one who would rather make people think they’re alone than admit they’re dating someone they’re embarrassed of or are afraid to let anyone but their closest friends know they’re dating. Big red flag! If you have to hide it or aren’t proud to announce it, it’s wrong for you.
[…] Licensed material used with permission by James Michael Sama […]
[…] Licensed material used with permission by James Michael Sama […]
[…] Licensed material used with permission by James Michael Sama […]
[…] Licensed material used with permission by James Michael Sama […]
Hi. While you attempted to keep the article gender-neutral, you failed to realize that you’re stereotyping women by writing that materialistic is interchangeable with gold-digger. You shouldn’t use the word gold-digger because it’s a harmful stereotype. “People who have plenty of depth and character are judged because they choose to drive a nice car or wear nice clothes.“ The fuck kind of twisted logic is that? It’s like you’re trying to tame the reader into being none of these things, which, whatever, that’s just you being a fussy, intolerant bad date, but what does the article have to do with being a good man? Do you think that you’re a better man because you don’t rape women? Women aren’t fucking your childhood toys like silly puddy or play dough. They are PEOPLE with their own ideas and values, not objects. You’re just missing the fucking point, brah.