It’s no secret that women have historically preferred the dominant male to the “nice guy.” There are books written about it, movies made about it, and just about everyone is aware of this phenomenon. Then, why are there so few happy relationships if women are really finding what they want? Why do they continue falling for the wrong type of guy?
Often times, women mistake what they think is the confident “alpha male” (for lack of a better term), for some guy who is just a jerk. Yet, it often seems difficult to tell the two apart. In this article, we will explore some of the differences.
Women want a man of confidence because if he wants something, he goes out and gets it. He is driven and ambitious, and doesn’t back down from challenges. He doesn’t get walked on and is often looked up to by his peers. He makes her feel safe, secure, and confident in herself.
A man of confidence embodies power. As a result, he makes the people around him feel empowered as well – this of course is an attractive quality.
It’s important to note that this type of man will never discourage you, talk down to you, make you feel badly about yourself, or just generally be unsupportive and — well, mean.
That guy, more commonly, is known as a jerk (or some other choice words). He can bear a striking resemblance to the man of confidence because, similarly, he doesn’t care what people think and does what he wants anyway.
He can be perceived as powerful because of his dominant traits, but the difference is the jerk doesn’t care who gets hurt along his journey. The reason why he doesn’t care what people think is not because he is determined, it is just because he has no consideration for other people’s feelings — including his significant other.
But, many girls just attribute this to “how he shows his affection,” and think “he really loves me.” The reality is that anyone who really loves you will never discourage you or make you feel as though you’re not good enough to accomplish anything in the world.
Many men become confused about how to express true confidence and succumb to societal pressures that “masculinity” means being cold or not showing emotion. This can obviously cause problems and miscommunications in a relationship where being open and honest is essential to mutual happiness.
In reality, genuine confidence means one shouldn’t be affected by how others perceive them, what others think of their actions or how they live their lives. Real confidence goes out and lives a life of integrity, compassion, and honesty. A life of doing what’s right regardless of what the majority thinks. A life of helping and supporting others.
When a jerk passes himself off as a confident man, the lines between the two become blurred, and it is difficult to tell which one he really is. Could this be the problem? A misrepresentation of similar characteristics? Could the jerk really bear a close enough resemblance to the sought after persona of an “alpha male” to enjoy the benefits of actually being one?
For this reason, women can get stuck in the rut of dating the wrong types of guys from as early as middle school into high school, and therefore just assume this is what all confident men (and relationships) are like. They continue to stay in this cycle because they are never shown otherwise and/or don’t think anything else is possible.
I have said before that if you are with someone for a few months and they suddenly “change,” they didn’t really change at all – you just finally found out who they really are.
Right about now is where the buzzer goes off, like when you get an answer wrong on Family Feud. It’s simple — be honest with yourself: If you feel unappreciated, undervalued, discouraged or just generally not supported in your relationship — walk away. That is not the type of man you need in your life.
Pay close attention to how the man you’re interested in treats other people. His true character will show through from how he chooses to live his life.
Having your dignity and being alone is better than being in a relationship where you have to sacrifice it. But rest assured, the gentleman is the new bad boy, and we are here to stay.
Did you enjoy this article? Enter your email here to be notified when new content is published!
Subscribe to Blog via Email
Click here to connect with me on Twitter -> [twitter-follow screen_name=’JamesMSama’]