10 Ways To Resurrect Romance


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It seems as though many romantic ideals of the past have become just that…ideals. Small actions and habits that have actually become so small, they’re nearly invisible.

To be romantic or chivalrous really is not that difficult, it just takes a little more effort and the willingness to break patterns. Don’t fall into a routine – here are 10 ways to bring more romance to your relationship.



It doesn’t have to be a ring, but…

A sign of “going steady” just a few decades ago was when a girl would wear something of her guy’s. I remember hearing stories about girls wearing their boyfriends class rings on their necklaces (because they were too big, obviously) as a mark that bonded them together.

It doesn’t have to be a class ring, and it definitely doesn’t have to be an engagement ring, but giving him or her something of yours to wear or keep with them is a great way to make them smile even when you’re not around.


Send text messages…the old fashioned way.

I do so much typing, I wonder sometimes if I even have the physical ability to write using a pen anymore. A great, romantic way to test out this skill is to write little notes to her/him, leave them around the house or sneak them into a pocket to be found during the day.

Every card I get from my girlfriend is hand-written by her. It’s a personal touch that you can’t find in a Hallmark card. (Sorry, Hallmark).


Cut the rug, as they say.

Don’t laugh – but when I was in 8th grade I actually took a couple of swing dancing classes. It was something the school offered and I figured I’d give it a shot. I didn’t end up having enough interest to stick with it but I did end up going salsa dancing with a few friends who were really into it, a few years ago.

Something like this, whether it be salsa dancing, ballroom dancing, or anything that keeps the two of you close on the dance floor, is a great way to stay active and learn a new skill together.


Turn out the lights.

Not just when it’s time for bed, either. Even if you’re just doing something casual like getting takeout and watching a movie, there is automatically a more romantic feel to the evening when you do whatever you’re doing by candlelight.

The mood is set, the atmosphere is warm, and you can both stay close to the warmth of the candles together. A small change that makes a big difference.



Find a drive-in theater.

The other day my girlfriend and I went to see a movie (go see the new X-Men, it was awesome) in a theater that has big old seats from cars as their chairs. You get the comfort, but not the privacy of being in your own car. Open the sunroof or put the top down, sit in the backseat together, and watch a movie vintage style.

If you can’t find a drive-in in your area, find a place with great scenery to go park at sunset and enjoy the view.


Arcade games!

Whether it’s “Dave and Buster’s” or another “adult themed” arcade, it’s fun to unwind with a couple of drinks and get lost in video games together every once in awhile. A little friendly competition between partners can be fun and bring you closer together, too. Plus it will give you a chance to flirt, smile, and laugh with each other.

Not near an arcade? Video games at home can be just as fun. Sometimes even more so.


Miniature golf.

A few months ago in Florida, Margot and I went miniature golfing at a place on a nice lake. It’s a date I’d always wanted to take her on but we typically end up staying around the city, instead.

Something like that gets you outside together, it’s cheap, and won’t take up your whole day or night. Make sure to get an ice cream cone after, too.


Learn a new language together.

What is more romantic than a language of love? To commit to learning at least some phrases in a beautiful new language will give you both a new experience to share in together, as well as give you special perks like the opportunity to communicate with each other in public and keep it private.

The only thing better than building anticipation with seduction, is doing it in French or Italian.


Leave something for them to find.

Just last week, my mom posted a photo on Facebook of a big balloon that says “I love you.” The balloon was left on her car by my dad during the day while she was out doing errands for her to come outside to. (They’ve been together over 35 years).

Whether it be a note under the windshield wiper or roses to come home to, nice surprises will always brighten their day.



Have dinner ready when they get home.

Work and traffic can be stressful and tiring. Days can be long, and sometimes the last thing you’ll want to do is deal with figuring out dinner, especially if you’ve got to cook.

Have something ready and waiting for them when they get home, instead. Can’t cook? Order takeout. Keep it simple if you don’t know what they like, but you’ll get bonus points if you do.

To add an extra touch, have candles lit and flowers on the table, too.


Some of these ideas take more planning than others, but the happiness of the person you love is worth it. Looking for smaller, everyday things you can do all the time? Check out 8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back.

You don’t need a special occasion or holiday to show someone you care about them. Anytime is the right time to love them.

When people think of “intimacy,” they typically think of what happens in the bedroom. But the truth is, real intimacy between partners is built through small, thoughtful, consistent acts that bring the two of you together. Real intimacy, therefore, is built outside of the bedroom. #KeepRomanceAlive.

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Click here for the New Chivalry Movement.


  1. surfercajun on June 5, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    If I might add something small, sir…. for having dinner ready (my area) Is a change of clothes from the day, applied fresh lipstick along with powered nose, perhaps a bow in my hair, and having a smile waiting for him when he walks in. :o) I have seen first hand how that might change his evening. Cheers!

  2. Miss Bougie on June 6, 2014 at 8:46 am

    We’re always celebrating. When my husband and I first met, we celebrated our first month, six months, one year together; then every anniversary. We always celebrate with French champagne and living here probably helps. 😉 French champagne is so expensive in the US.
    I kept the bottle we emptied when we got our first flat together. It was quite a sight at the time. we had no furniture, just inflatable mattresses, but we did have a Moët & Chandon bottle! It’s a candle holder now and still very much alive.
    We also go to candle light dinners for no reason, just to be together and leave the kids at home (they’re older now). When they were younger and needed a sitter we organised a dinner away once a month.
    I organise special dinners at home for no special reason and during winter my husband always comes home in the evening to lit candles.
    I get spoiled with flowers at least once a week.
    Next year we’ll be married 30 years.

    James, I love your posts about relationships, but It makes me sad to see that people need to be reminded (or need to learn?) of the way to behave and the small gestures that make a relationship work.
    Keep up the good work.

  3. tuluschristian14 on June 7, 2014 at 3:01 am

    Reblogged this on tuluschristian14.

  4. […] acting more chivalrous and being more romantic, we are actively showing someone we care for them and are willing to put in effort for them. When […]

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