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8 Signs She’s Not Girlfriend Material

FREE E-BOOK: 15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING A GENTLEMAN

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We’ve spent a lot of time discussing things that good men don’t do, as well as things that they need to do better. But we must not forget that there are two sides to relationships and that men need to know what to look out for in women, also.

Men are used to pursuing women, so she shows interest back in our direction, it’s natural to overlook the red flags for the fact that she makes us feel wanted or perhaps how beautiful she is. But we need to discipline ourselves to slow down and be honest – does she display these warning signs?

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She doesn’t appreciate things.

If you’re the type of man who consistently does little things to make her feel special, it’s equally as important that she is the type of woman who shows, in some way, shape or form, that she appreciates your efforts. There are a lot of men out there who are apathetic in their relationships. If you are not one of them, you deserve someone who is grateful for you.

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Nothing is ever her fault.

A clear red flag is raised by a woman who doesn’t take responsibility for her actions or always tries to place the blame on someone else (especially you).

To take responsibility is to be open to learning from less than perfect judgment and using your experiences to learn and grow. If someone in a relationship is unable to take that first step, the rest will never follow, and growing together will be an arduous and potentially impossible task.

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She keeps you on a tight leash.

You’ve got your friends, interests, and hobbies. It’s natural that there are adjustments to the time spent with these people and things when you enter a relationship, but a relationship is part of life – not the entire thing. If a woman has a hard time letting you keep your individual life when you’re together, she may be too possessive for her own good (and yours).

A woman who truly cares about you will want you to go out and do the things you enjoy, because she knows it makes you happy. This ultimately benefits the relationship.

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She’s inconsistent.

As I said in the introduction here, it’s easy for men to overlook details when it comes to a woman we’re infatuated with. But we need to be honest with ourselves – if someone we’re courting always seems to be canceling or postponing plans, taking forever to answer texts (if at all), or just seems generally disinterested, do yourself a favor and cut the cord.

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You’re the only one she’s nice to.

When you go out to a bar or to dinner, pay attention to how she treats people who work there. I’ve said the same before about men also – if a nice guy isn’t nice to the waiter, then he’s not really a nice guy.

Same goes for women.

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She feels entitled, all the time.

You may find yourself talking to a woman who has been drowned in gifts or attention by previous boyfriends, or even her family. Every woman and man should have steadfast standards for how they deserve to be treated in a relationship, and should never settle for less. But there is a difference between that and expecting a certain level of treatment from someone.

Relationships are a two way street, and if she always expects to come first or to be the priority, it will only leave you exhausted and unappreciated.

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You argue way too much.

Not much of an explanation needed here. It doesn’t matter how much you “love” someone, if they bring more negativity to your life than positivity, you need to let them go.

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Your visions for the future aren’t even close.

Let’s be honest. If you’re entering into a long term relationship, there should be at least a general understanding of what each of you want for your life and your future. There is always room for compromise, but if one of you wants to live in Antarctica and the other wants to live in the African desert, you might be facing some future conflicts.

In other words, if your core values and goals for your life can’t possibly fit together, it’s time to put the puzzle back in the box and move on.

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Sound off in the comments below if you’ve experienced these issues in a relationship and let us know how things played out.

How does a good woman act while in a relationship? Find out here.

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16 Comments

  1. Matt on May 23, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    Haha James did this one stem from my previous comment? Lack of interest is what im finding a lot latley. But Ive heard from some women they play hard to get because theyve been burned before. Trying to distinguish the line between chasing her and coming off as a creep has still taken some fine tuning because her intentions are not clear. In the end some of us give up and go elsewhere because it never seems worth it….and then these women complain ‘how come I never find a good guy.’

    Ive gotten so many girls numbers just because ‘they didnt want to come off as a bitch or stuck up’ but when I go to call or text the next day I get no response or an answer several hours later. Be up front with us, if you dont want to talk or give out your digits just say so 🙂

    Visions have to be on the same page 100%. When it gets really serious (moving in together, marriage, buying a home) you both need to communicate, otherwise assumptions will turn things south very quickly…

    • NC on May 24, 2014 at 12:08 am

      Great list, shed a small tear when I realized my most recent ex fit these to a t. @Matt, im sorry sir, but if a woman is “playing hard to get” or not showing interest, move on. If I wanted to play games, I’d get a PlayStation. There are plenty of women who just want to be loved and we should not waste time effort and emotional resources on those who do not.

    • The Free Woman on May 26, 2014 at 4:33 pm

      playing hard to get is immature, I say that b/c I’ve done it before and when I learned that its ineffective and childish I changed my ways. Great comment Matt!! 🙂

    • Rocky on June 2, 2014 at 11:09 am

      I might add to this list that if a woman is playing hard to get, you shouldn’t waste your time. If she’s making courting into a game, then she’s going to be thinking of your relationship as a game.

      However, the caveat, as you alluded, is that sometimes playing hard to get, or some variation of it, is a defense mechanism. Sorry, I know this makes it really confusing, guys. You see, as women, we feel like we have to walk a thin line between showing interest/encouraging affection, and keeping our guard up and defending ourselves — lest the guy takes that interest as an open invitation.

      I’ll confess to having given my number to quite a few men that I was not actually interested in. Why? because sometimes guys don’t respond gracefully to that rejection. And I can’t always tell based on a very limited interaction what a guy is going to do/say if I turn him down. And sometimes, I’m just not in the mood to put up a fight, so I avoid confrontation by giving my number knowing that I can just ignore his call later. Even if a guy doesn’t flip out and call me a “b*tch,” many men will continue to pester and say “why not,” “c’mon, it’s just a phone number, not a proposal.” As the saying goes, “When a man says ‘no’, it’s the end of a conversation. When a woman says ‘no’, it’s the beginning of a negotiation.”

      Props to you if you’re the kind of guy who does gracefully accept a rejection!

  2. thenarcissistwrites on May 23, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    Definitely good points!

  3. SoSad on May 24, 2014 at 7:04 am

    Well this is just depressing. I’ve gone from one extreme to another. The other extreme not mentioned here includes the following: 1. She doesn’t have any close friends except for you, 2. You never argue, the decision is always in your hands, 3. You can do anything you want – as long as you stay together with her.

  4. B on May 24, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Funny … I’m a woman who just had to end a relationship with a man for most of the reasons listed above. So true that it all goes both ways. He never took me out, took forever to text or answer a text, failed to show up for my birthday (a special one), never ever gave me a gift for a special occasion, etc. He had a very difficult life, so I made excuses for him, in my head. Over time, though It became glaringly apparent that the relationship was all about him and not about me at all. So for my dignity’s sake, I ended it, even though we got along well when we were together. Told him that if he wants back in my world, he has to change his ways and gave him quite a list! I’m not expecting it to happen, although it would be wonderful if it does.

    • Brad Byars on May 24, 2014 at 6:10 pm

      You did the right thing and of course it goes both ways. Life is way too short to be treated poorly and people will only treat us in the manner we allow them to. Better to move on than linger in an unfulfilling relationship.

  5. hohn jang on May 24, 2014 at 11:57 am

    my wife exhibits all of these behaviors AFTER marriage.

  6. Adhitya Chandra on May 24, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    my girlfriend exhibits all of described behaviors after we are walking this 3 years.

  7. lauramckillipwood on May 24, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    Seems like this would apply to men as well.

  8. The Free Woman on May 26, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    she’s emotionally all over the map. Men, RUN from these types o women, life will not be well for you if you date or marry them!

  9. Nikki Babie on May 26, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    Reblogged this on THE OFFICIAL NIKKI BABIE BLOG.

  10. tuluschristian14 on June 7, 2014 at 3:08 am

    Reblogged this on tuluschristian14.

  11. SynchItUp on July 30, 2014 at 12:03 am

    there are a lot of “GREAT” guys/girls out there~ however~ what would you be willing to sacrifice for that relationship? other family members nearby? lateral career moves instead of upgrades? children, or lack thereof? religious growth or compromise? if your end game goals differ, there is room for compromise~ however, the most important thing in any long term relationship is just that~ responding to the situation at hand and working thru it~ not calling it quits~ just being willing to say~ i’ll be there with you~ I’ll go thru that with you~ i’ll be supportive of you if that is what you choose~

  12. Cole on August 10, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Wonderful post! We will be linking to this particularly great content on our website.
    Keep up the great writing.

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