5 Signs Her Parents Will Approve Of You
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When it comes to building a long-lasting relationship, we learn the importance of getting along with each other’s families. Holidays, vacations, and just normal conversations become increasingly awkward if your significant others’ parents don’t approve of your relationship.
For the gentlemen, what are some qualities that can give you a competitive advantage when meeting her parents?
Sometimes, I think we take language for granted. It’s one of those things most of us don’t think about, really. Everywhere we look there are words, our thoughts are formulated in words, our conversations, everything. Because of this, language is kind of like air – it surrounds us constantly and we barely even notice it.
But, just like air – the quality of it is essential to living a good life. When we are able to express ourselves properly, through writing or speaking, we allow others to get a more accurate depiction of who we are as a person. When we have a solid grasp on language, we can replace the intellectual lazyness of swearing or slang for emphasis. Not only is too much slang or profanity unattractive, but it indicates immaturity and an inability to accurately convey our thoughts.
To help with this, I enjoy listening to talks by profoundly articulate speakers. A personal favorite of mine is author and neuroscientist Sam Harris.
You’ve got good manners.
Much of the chivalry I discuss in my articles really just boils down to good manners. Whether it be opening a door or pulling out a chair, the underlying message is kindness and respect towards others. One of the frequent complaints I hear from women is that many men are simply unfamiliar with what etiquette and good manners look like.
While this may be the case, generally speaking, those in the generations before ours (her parents) are in fact familiar with these manners, and will recognize their presence or absence.
A good resource for etiquette and manners is The Brooks Brothers book – “How To Be A Gentleman.”
You’ve got ambition.
Goals, dreams, ambitions, thoughts about your future…not necessarily a clearly defined path, but at least the motivation to make something of yourself. Nobody wants to see their child plan a future with someone who has no future planned for themselves. What you want (or don’t want) out of life will be a good indication of how good of a long term partner you will be.
You can carry on a conversation.
This is different than being well spoken. While language is important, it does you no good if you’ve got nothing to talk about. The ability to replace awkward silences with well-rounded conversation will make essentially every situation easier on everyone.
In addition to frequently listening to educational talks, I’ve been doing my best to read more to help with this. Expanding our personal horizons is important to becoming more well-rounded and familiar with the world around us. If books aren’t your thing, two of my personal favorite publications are The New Yorker and Esquire Magazine.
You make their daughter happy.
Really, above all else – this is the magic bullet. Not everyone will like you, get along with you, or agree with your viewpoints. But if you are respectful towards your girlfriend/fiancee/wife and make each other happy, it will be hard for anyone to disapprove of that.
These concepts are simple. It’s about being mature, well rounded, respectful, and kind. If you act as a true gentleman does in a relationship, you are bound to eventually attract an intelligent, respectable woman who will be a great match for you.
Needless to say, there are infinite possibilities for family dynamics and personalities, but it’s safe to say any family or set of parents will want to see their daughter(s) happy. If you are the man who brings a smile to her face, you’ll be getting their seal of approval.
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As the mother of a bride to be – you nailed it as far as what a parent likes.
Love your blog by the way.
As a single lady, I just want to say that these aren’t just things the parents look for. Excluding the obvious fifth, if you can pull off the first four, you’re much more likely to be a hit with that single lady you’re going after. It’s smooth sailing from there with the parents.
Actually, in my situation, it wasn’t smooth sailing with my parent in the beginning. My husband pulled off all five signs, in my eyes, with flying colors while we were still courting. However, my mother didn’t warm up to my husband until we (my husband and I) gave birth to her (my mother’s) first grandchild – after two and a half years of marriage. Up until my son’s birth, my mom didn’t approve of my husband because he wasn’t the sort of man she thought I should marry. First, he’s 18 1/2 years my senior; only 6 years younger than (and in the same generation as) she. Second, he’s not rich enough for her (meaning he’s not rich enough for us to comfortably live with me as a permanent stay-at-home wife and mother). Third, he’s of a different religion than she. Fourth, my husband and I had such a whirlwind courtship that none of my side of the family, most of whom live out of state – including my mother – didn’t meet my husband until our wedding reception. Luckily, in my case, grandchildren have the ability to iron out even the most wrinkly of wrinkles.
Sometimes I read what you write and I just have to shake my head at the simplicity of it. Great stuff as usual!
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This is why I love my British man. We can connect and speak to each other as equals.
As a single lady, you have nailed it as far as what I look for. A guy who can carry on a (fairly) intelligent conversation is, in my book, what this world needs. I can’t stand a guy who never uses good grammar, and doesn’t have anything to talk about except his car. Your standards for male behavior are so simple, and yet we almost never see these behaviors in normal society anymore.
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