7 Qualities She Wants In A Man

The question “what do women want?” has multiple answers for multiple areas of life. What do they want in a career? What do they want in a relationship? What do they want in a man?

The way a woman wants to be treated in a relationship is different than the inherent qualities she wants her boyfriend to have. So, what qualities put you at the front of the pack when looking for a committed relationship?



Nobody wants a partner who flies off the handle all the time or who they need to walk on eggshells around. Plus, two different people from two different backgrounds will likely see the world differently and need to take time to learn about each other.

Be patient and understanding, take the time to learn new things from her and to also help her learn new things from you. Don’t get frustrated easily and keep your temper at bay.


If you’re looking to keep a woman’s attention, it has been said that “manners matter, good looks are a bonus, but humor is a must.”

Having a great sense of humor is essential in many different parts of life. It helps you deal with stress, and it also makes you more pleasant to be around. A man who can make a woman laugh will never lose, and when he can transplant that quality into other aspects of a relationship, there won’t be any complaints.


Notice, I didn’t say arrogance. Confidence plays into biological desires for us to want to “mate” with the leader of a pack or the “alpha” type. Confidence does not mean cockiness or someone who is so full of themselves that they can’t be bothered with those around them…

Confidence is a strong presence and purpose that is contagious. When you are confident, those around you can feed off of your energy and feel empowered. This, of course, includes your significant other.



Passion for life. Passion for your own interests. Passion for her.

How often do we hear that a relationship has “lost its passion” over time? Inevitably, this either leads to a continued, unhappy relationship – or the end of it. Keeping passion alive is essential to ongoing happiness in a relationship.

Don’t just be passionate towards her physically (though of course that is high on the list), also be passionate about her interests, her goals, and supporting her on her own individual journey.


Honesty is the foundation for so many other necessary qualities one can possess: Consistency, trustworthiness, dependability…

When a woman is confident that you are always being honest with her, she will have no reason to distrust or doubt you. Many women complain about men saying one thing and then doing another, whether it comes to committing to a relationship and then disappearing, or being shady about canceling plans.

The best bet is to always be up front – plus, if you lie, she will probably find out anyway.



When I was growing up, I would always wonder why girls always wanted guys who never paid attention to them. Besides the stereotypical “want what you can’t have” mindset, I was told these guys were “mysterious.”

Mystery brings excitement, anticipation, and uncertainty. It also eliminates the risk of coming across as too needy or desperate, if you have a hint of mystery to you. (It’s very important to not display indifference or apathy, that is a much different message to send).

You also don’t have to lose your mystery in a long term relationship. Surprise her with a night/weekend away or special plans, keep things exciting.


No matter how many misconceptions there are out there that women want to be treated badly – they don’t. Nobody does. Kindness also suggests being respectful towards her, and others (also very important).

When it comes to actually committing to someone for a long term relationship, kindness is absolutely essential. This is a person that a woman is picturing spending time with their friends, their family, and potentially building a family with in the future. Anything less than kindness is unacceptable.



Of course, every person is different and wants different things from their partner. Generally speaking, though, these qualities are unlikely to actually hurt your chances when it comes to finding a partner.

The good news is, you can work on and improve yourself in order to consciously display everything here.

Just remember – don’t make it an act, always be genuine in your actions.

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27 thoughts on “7 Qualities She Wants In A Man

  1. Remember that pic you sent of a huuge book titled things men need to know about women? This guy should sell his version! I’d take the time to read one sheet of paper on guys

  2. Oddly enough about the mystery part, when I was in my last relationship of 4 years, I had so many girls as friends, some of whom wanted more (which was flattering but nothing more occured). Very true about the ‘want what you cant have’. Now that Im single and out on the market, even just trying to get a date planned or getting coffee gets met with excuse after excuse. Ive had several who gave me the same answer ‘Oh you need time alone after a breakup to do your own thing’.

    Nothing seems to irritate me more than that response. Its been 6 months since we split, and my ex found her ‘sweetheart’ 2 months afterwards, but I ‘need time alone’? Im happy with my career, happy with my life and try to radiate my positivity to others, and avoid all the negativity and drama i can. Definitely dont come off as needy or desperate, but it seems to be a much harder hill to climb for someone whos single, as it seems im not a ‘challenge’ because there isnt another girl in the picture that they try to break my will and faith on.

    Or maybe its a blessing in disguise….im going after what seems to be an ideal partner in my mind but in reality isnt?

    • I agree with this in the sense that everyone, male or female, always seems more “attractive” when they are with someone else. I’ve always been of the mindset that when a person gets out of a relationship that long, they should take time for themselves and “do their own thing”, not for the fact that they have to be alone, but so that they can get themselves ready for the next opportunity, whenever that may come. Just as a female input, maybe these girls you are asking out think that you are looking for something more than just a casual coffee or night out. Usually, when an outing has the word “date” attached to it, certain expectations are automatically put on it, and the girls may wonder if you’re looking for a rebound, especially since your ex moved on pretty quickly. Unfortunately, when girls toss out excuses for why they can’t make the plans or whatever, that means they aren’t interested and just don’t want to come right out and say it. So yes, it is a blessing because if you took a girl out, spent all this money on her, and had a good time, but she only felt luke-warm about you, that would make you feel worse. In all honesty, I think you’re on the right track — you’re putting yourself out there, living life, and having fun — what else can you do?! The right person will see this, and want to be apart of it. You don’t have to hang back and let them come to you, but just know that you might have a bunch of misses before you get a hit! Good luck!

    • If the same girls who were interested in you while unavailable are not interested now, count your blessings. Anyone who angles for someone else’s man and gets him will eventually look for the same again. For them the excitement is in the prospect of cheating and if they would have cheated on your girlfriend (even though you didn’t), then they would gladly cheat on you. Remember and avoid! That being said, good luck and may the right girl cross your path at the right time. Enjoy life meanwhile and stay strong.

    • I completely agree, why do people feel the need to weigh in on what they think you should be doing after getting out of a relationship? I’d like to think I am capable of making my own decisions about what is right for me and my life, without input from anyone else.

  3. Great post! All of these are qualities that I have always looked for in a man, but were often so hard to find. Honesty and confidence were two things that so many men I have met over the years have lacked, with patience being a close runner up.

    • Ashley,

      It’s funny you mention that. For me, honesty seems to be one of my biggest hinderances in a relationship. I am a pretty much open book so no question is too far out there for me to answer. As a result, I am told that I am “too honest.” I struggle processing what that means because if you asked the question you apparently wanted the answer. Now, with that said, I try not to be crude or blunt as I understand tact is very much necessary. Finally, I must explain that my honesty revolves around myself in regards to personal questions asked about me. I don’t mean to insinuate that if a girl asks, “do I look fat in this dress?” that I respond, “why yes, dear!” By no means am I that oblivious and self-righteous in my honesty, but if you ask me, “What size underwear do you wear?” or “How much do you weigh?” I will answer your questions tactfully. I have nothing to hide/be ashamed of. In the end though, this approach seems to handicap me severely when it comes to relationships…


  4. Mysterious? Or spontaneous? No women wants to settle down with a mysterious man. The only thing better than his own confidence, is the confidence in their relationship. And I can only imagine, that if one of the two doing the tango is ‘mysterious’ – it’s going to create a lot of worry and doubt.

  5. Reblogged this on Breeze, Sea, and Sun and commented:
    I agree with this so much. You should all check out this James Michael Sama’s page. He has some good ideas and a really good perspective. This is pretty accurate. I’m not looking for someone who’s perfect, but I do want someone who will treat me well and that I can have fun with. Honestly, this shouldn’t be a lot to ask for.

  6. Pingback: 7 Qualities She Wants In A Man | wildberry56's Blog

  7. I made the mistake of lacking confidence in one relationship. She was in another city and I didn’t know my way around town. She was a very strong person, so I just took a “back seat” and let her take control and plan things. Not surprisingly, the relationship quickly ended. I didn’t show her that I had any confidence, that I basically needed to be taken care of. Big mistake.

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