Upon writing articles about men putting more effort into relationships, and being more romantic (for example, the 8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back), I often receive questions from women about what they can do to be chivalrous or romantic as well.
Well, ask, and ye shall receive.
Slip the waiter your credit card.
As reflected in many of my articles, I always insist on picking up the tab at dinner. Always. That also means that I expect for the bill to come after dessert and I’ll be taking care of it.
If you want to do something special for your guy, it would be a nice unexpected surprise to secretly take care of the bill without him noticing. Who doesn’t like pleasant surprises?
Be affectionate in public.
No, don’t jump on him in line at the grocery store, but guys enjoy affection, too. Putting your arm around his waist, holding your hand, or resting your head on his shoulder if you’re standing together are small ways to let him know you like being close to him.
I know, we’re not in high school anymore…but all the more reason that nobody would expect to open a small piece of paper with “I miss you” or “I love you” written on it. It’s free, easy, and can be left anywhere to surprise him. A surefire way to put a smile on his face.
I still remember a note my girlfriend left for me like this, over a year later. It will make an impact.
Experience something new together.
One of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten was a birthday gift from my girlfriend – racing a Ferrari F430 Scuderia around New Hampshire Motor Speedway. It’s not a passion of mine that she shares, but she supports it. She was with me early in the morning at the loud, noisy track during a sweltering hot summer day, and had a smile on her face the whole time because she knew it was something that I loved.
You don’t have to have the same passions as him, but sharing in things each other enjoy is a great way to build a foundation together.
Show up with food.
Planning on going to dinner one night, or just staying in and ordering takeout? Before he gets to your place, or if you’re going to his, get the food taken care of first (and some wine). It won’t require much effort but it will show him that you’re willing to take the initiative to do something extra.
Play video games together.
Some of the best nights my girlfriend and I have had aren’t about extravagant dinners or expensive dates. They’re the nights that we’ve been snowed in with a bottle of wine and video games. This lets you be playful together and do something a little out of the ordinary. Try to keep away from Call Of Duty or something that can be too competitive and frustrate you. Think more like Mario Kart.
Get hooked on a new show.
Having something to look forward to on a regular basis keeps you both excited and it gives you a good reason to cuddle up on the couch together and share a common interest. Plus, watching something that each other suggests will expand your horizons as well as show them you’re willing to compromise.
Sure I’ll watch Sex And The City with my girlfriend, but we also watch Vikings, Game Of Thrones, Law & Order and Suits. Fortunately, we both have a variety of tastes.
Suggest a road trip.
This is for a little later on in a relationship, but suggesting packing into a car and exploring new cities or states together is fun and exciting. Sharing new experiences always brings people closer.
Naughty picture texts.
Even subtle, suggestive images can be sexy. One does not need to resort to expletive nudity or revealing photos to get a man’s attention, in fact, often times it is the lack of exposure that increases the anticipation for when he gets home.
Be creative and have fun.
Show your appreciation.
Relationships are a two way street. They’re about give and give. One of the biggest complaints I get from men when encouraging chivalry and respect is that women just don’t appreciate acts of kindness these days. While a man or woman of quality should never let someone’s unappreciation of their actions change who they are as a person – it’s difficult to continue when you’re not being appreciated.
If you are dating a true gentleman, make sure you take the time to tell or show him that you appreciate the things he does for you. While he shouldn’t need your reinforcement, he certainly won’t complain about it. Plus, we like to know that what we’re doing is right, and to be able to fix it if it’s wrong.
Romance and relationships should never be one-sided. Healthy relationships are not about give and take, they’re about give and give. If both people aren’t contributing equally, it will be a breeding ground for resentment and discontent.
Great relationships are a team, a partnership, two people who work together to move forward and to keep each other happy.
As with any successful team, if both members pull their weight, they will be victorious.
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