3 Words That Will Improve Your Relationships

Many people read through my articles or see what I post on Facebook or Twitter and tell me that they wish their relationship could be “like that.”

To all of you, absorb this: You have the power to do better.

Like anything in life, things don’t come to those who wish, they come to those who actually take action and make changes in their life.


Are you not happy with the person you’re with? Leave.

Do they mistreat you or act in ways that are unacceptable? Tell them, and if they don’t change, leave.

Are they physically or emotionally abusive in any way? Leave. Now.

I understand that it’s not always that easy. Life gets in the way, there are circumstances that don’t always make standing up and walking out the door a realistic option. But, any time is the perfect time to begin making positive changes in your life and your relationship. Literally, right now.


The one and only way to do this is to apply three simple words that will change your life:

Raise. Your. Standards.

Once you raise your standards and absolutely cut out any possibility of accepting less, you’ll find you very often get your standards met. If someone isn’t meeting your standards, you cut them out of your life. If you’re not meeting your own standards, then you take action in order to improve. Either way – there are no two ways about it – your standards do not get moved.


Do not waste your years wishing that a person will change – raise your standards and if they truly care, they will rise up to meet them. If not, then you have dodged a bullet.

Do not waste your years self-loathing while accepting less than you deserve – raise your standards and when that is the only thing you accept in life, that is what you will get.

Do not waste one more moment of your time with someone who doesn’t make you happy – you can’t get any of it back. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

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16 thoughts on “3 Words That Will Improve Your Relationships

  1. Michael I would appreciate a post on why do men mess around with other women while being in a relationship. Thanks for the many posts I’ve really enjoyed reading them. Your posts have made me realize many things, some about me and some about the opposite sex.

    Sent from my iPad

    1. I think he has one, but it’s kind of old, so you may have to hunt for it. but again, raise your standards. I love those words. I totally need a poster made out of them 🙂

    2. You speak as if this is the exclusive domain of men. My wife cheated on me with no less than 3 men last year to end our marriage. I’ve never cheated, and I guarantee I never will.

  2. Of course this is the truth. You should be proud of yourself and your partner should be proud of you too (this applies to both men and women) thus you should have high standards. However, what happens if you raise your standards while already married? Leaving is not that easy to do, easy to say but not easy to do, when all of the factors are realized (children, finances, etc.) You can raise your standards, but if your partner won’t change, sometimes it’s not so easy to leave even if you want to.

  3. I have done this. Twice ! It was extremely difficult, especially in one case. It’s necessary, if you want to have the life you want. To be loved, to be appreciated, to be understood, to be interested, and challenged and so you’re not bored. You need to be with someone who challenges, appreciates and stimulates you emotionally, mentally, socially, in every way. Go for it. It’s worth it.

  4. I really appreciate what you have to say here James. It is so so true that many women who have let themselves be beat down emotionally (or physically for that matter) begin to accept lower standards. However I think the most profound idea you hit got the least amount of attention! “If someone isn’t meeting your standards, you cut them out of your life. If you’re not meeting your own standards, then you take action in order to improve.” I think that for the majority of people going through relationship with conflict that comes from typical differences and expectations, the best thing anyone can do to rectify the relationship is to raise their standards for themselves. I recently got married and the best way my wife has ever helped me treat her better (we have been together about 3 and a half years) is to raise her own standard for herself. By doing that she not only has a more legitimate platform from which to lovingly ask for me to become the man and partner she needs, but she also gives me massive motivation! Love and relationships are less about making sure someone exactly meets a set of standards, but rather finding someone who reasonably meets them and has the heart to selflessly and patiently join you in fulfilling those needs and standards for each other. Besides, what is our “standard” today will likely grow and develop, and we want someone who grows with us Once you find out someone is either miserably below those standards (as is obviously the case in abuse) or is unwilling to join you in mutually working to fulfill each other, then by all mean, get out! Instead, make sure you are raising your standards for yourself, and staying aware of what your SO needs!

    I’d love to hear your thoughts!
    Thanks and God Bless

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