Why You Need Higher Standards


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People often tell me that my articles portray unrealistic figures or people, who don’t really exist.

No man can live up to the 10 Ways To Know You’re Dating A True Gentleman, and no woman fills the 10 Ways To Know Your Woman Is A Keeper.

Geeze, nobody? 7 Billion people in the world, and, nobody? 


I know, for myself, I may not always meet the standards that I set for myself, but I can say that I sure as hell try. Nobody is perfect, and perhaps filling every single point in these articles, all the time, is ‘impossible’ – as much as I hate to use that word.

Though, as Vince Lombardi said: Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.

You, my friend, deserve someone who will wake up every morning and look you in the eye with the pledge of being the best that they can, for you.

You deserve someone who will make you feel empowered, encouraged, and invincible. Someone who makes you believe that maybe fairy tales have some truth rooted in them. Someone who makes you feel like everything will be okay, just by smiling at you.

Don’t you?


I believe they are out there. I believe when two people truly connect and care for each other, they will do these things for each other. I believe that while this is difficult to find, life is too short to settle for anything less.

Do circumstances get in the way? Sure, of course. Life happens, and it’s unpredictable. We have all had curveballs thrown at us, and we certainly do not all wake up on the real life set of The Notebook – but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy.

Happiness is not a product of perfection. Happiness is a product of progress. Striving to be better. Love. Caring. Respect. Loyalty. Focusing on what matters, and forgetting what doesn’t.

Is a list written by some guy on the internet the ideal set of characteristics for a man or a woman? Obviously not. Can it be used for self-reflection and understanding who you want to be as a person? Absolutely.


Some people might call it being ‘too picky’ – I call it refusing to lower your standards.

You’re not perfect. The person you’re with isn’t perfect. But, if you refuse to settle for less than you deserve, you just might find someone who’s perfect for you.


Click here to connect with me on Twitter -> [twitter-follow screen_name=’JamesMSama’]

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Click here for the New Chivalry Movement.


  1. Austa Gio on December 16, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    I just love all your posts. Well done, yet again 🙂

  2. Kristy on December 16, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    You’re the first male who’s blog posts I read and I have personally had a few friends join in on the fun. I absolutely love reading your posts and am personally intrigued by your writing. I don’t believe you are writing unrealistically or about inexistent people. I have high expectations of a guy so I don’t think it’s impossible to find someone like that or believe there are people like that out there.

  3. Pam on December 16, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    I absolutely agree that there are men who exist who are gentlemen, as well as women who exist who are ladies. Unfortunately, there are lots of cynical people out there who are living in the past (dwelling on people who hurt them a long time ago) and who don’t want to move forward or believe in abundance. A lot of people also have low self esteem and settle for anyone who pays attention to them because they feel they will never do any better. I believe in the law of attraction and focusing on what you want. Your “10 Signs You’re Dating a Gentleman” post is the perfect focal point for me!

  4. Tiffany on December 16, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    Absolutely love your blog! Found it a couple weeks ago and read almost all your posts. Gives me a great reminder not to settle because good men are still out there <3 thank you

  5. Kevina Fullwood on December 16, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    The moment we began to settle is the moment we have nothing to look forward to.

  6. Tey on December 16, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Great title but I was hoping that you justified and explained thoroughly, like giving examples? Just like what you did to your other posts.

  7. […] To me, this is just another reason Why You Need Higher Standards. […]

  8. officialwarranty on December 17, 2013 at 2:19 am

    Reblogged this on What Lies Beneath The Rock.

  9. erinkcamp on December 17, 2013 at 3:44 am

    Reblogged this on erin.k.camp and commented:
    This guy is good. Really good.

  10. southernyetsingle on December 17, 2013 at 8:40 am

    Reblogged this on Whiskey In a Teacup.

  11. kitkatkaiti on December 19, 2013 at 2:33 am

    Reblogged this on Severely Underwhelming.

  12. Huntress626 on December 23, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    And some of my friends think I’m silly for my higher standards. *smh* I wish more people thought like this. Thx for the word of wisdom.

  13. Tina on December 24, 2013 at 1:37 am

    I’m sure you have been asked the question…how do you know? Every person, relationship is different…some things I read are great…others I ask questions…

  14. cptjroberts on December 25, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Love your blog James, and you are right on here. No one is perfect. But, you can choose… Every day… To make the choice to strive for perfection. Sometimes you will succeed, sometimes you will fall short, but the person you love and are with Will feel loved and if they have the same commitment, you will feel loved in return. Keep it up James, great work and Merry Christmas!

  15. thechroniclesofaneternalmisfit on January 6, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    I totally endorse this. Been single for years and refuse to settle for less 🙂 You write with amazing insight! 🙂 There is hope <3

  16. lulumimibelle on February 14, 2014 at 6:33 am

    I came across this blog and James M. Sama purely by chance today via facebook – but, I’m thinking after the “Valentines” I had last night, I don’t think it is. I don’t think it is co-incidence. Standing by myself at a Valentine’s party last night whilst all the girls are loud, drunk, outgoing, extrovert, dancing away, and allowing creepy blokes fawn all over them and lapping up the attention (and then being abandoned by said girls so they can go party some more at fawning men’s house – men we had only just met at the party – to find my own way home – so much for the rule of we arrive together, we leave together) – I’m the quiet, bookish type, who scrubs up well, am witty, intelligent, love to banter, risque jokes and can talk small things, big things and anything else inbetween – but somehow…..here I am – STILL single……I wandered around the party and said to myself – I can’t be like those girls, its not who I am. Why is that those girls get all the attention – then I think ”empty vessels make the loudest noise?”? As I was feeling sorry for myself that I was clearly on my own and nobody noticed (its a hard pill to swallow, the realisation you don’t seem to exist to others and are easily dismissed as “boring” because you’re not loud and OTT) – its not me, its the company I was in. Ah-hah moment! So as sad I was feeling despite the smile on my face last night – at least in that sadness, I made the realisation, I’m not going to change who I am to fit in (or at least TRY to not change), and that hopefully one day soon that will be enough for someone and we’ll give each other those butterflies in the stomach feeling.

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