5 Things Men Need To Learn About Women

Sure, we have all met some women who seem to be more complicated than Chinese algebra. Even the famous Oscar Wilde remarked: Women are meant to be loved, not understood.

But, I do think that as men, we over-complicate women because we expect them to be just like us. It’s natural for anyone to project their own qualities onto others and become confused when they don’t fit the mold, but once we step outside of ourselves and see people as they are, and not as we are, our vision becomes clearer.

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It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters how she feels.

A woman’s honesty to herself is unparalleled, because her self-esteem is rooted where it should be, in herself. You can call her beautiful or sexy or gorgeous every single day, but if she doesn’t feel it, it won’t get through to her.

You need to make her feel all of these things, and more. In fact, what you don’t say usually matters more than what you do say. As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

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You work on logic, she works on emotion.

This is not to say that women are illogical or don’t use logic in every day situations – often their thoughts and ideas are better articulated than their male counterparts. The point I’m trying to make here is that a woman’s emotions will influence her actions more than a man’s would for him.

As men, society teaches us to keep our feelings hidden, so we don’t acknowledge them as much, and therefore don’t act on them as women do.

It has always been seen as a negative for a man to be in touch with his ‘feminine side,’ but when people say this, they’re typically referring to someone who is more in touch with his own emotions. Women will naturally gravitate closer to men like this, because they feel they will be better understood.

(Hint: Women, this also means if you want your man to know how you feel about something, you need to tell him. He may not be able to read it on his own).

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Women don’t compartmentalize.

Meaning, if a man has a bad day at work, he can come home, give his woman a kiss, pour himself a drink, and (usually) unwind – blocking out the stress until the next day (assuming his work doesn’t come home with him).

If a woman has a bad day, it will often affect her mood, and her interactions. This is exactly the time when men need to shut up and not tell her to ‘get over it’ or that it’s ‘not a big deal’ because these things stay fresh in her mind. Be understanding, be comforting, and she will feel better.

What women want isn’t that complicated.

It’s always a mystery what women want in a relationship…or is it?

Believe it or not, gentlemen, women are humans too. This means they crave the same things that you do, deep down, but probably won’t admit.

They want to be loved, respected, trusted, and adored. They want you to listen, at least make an attempt to understand, and help where you can. They’re not nearly as complicated as you think – so don’t make it worse than it is.

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She is more afraid of rejection than you are.

I know man, trust me. I’ve been rejected probably more than the average guy. I know how much it sucks and how hard it is to put all of that risk on the table when approaching a woman.

But, a woman’s desire is to be desired. Every societal norm, whether you agree with it or not, shows her that she is to be pursued.

Are you waiting for her to make the first move? Stop.

Can you imagine the blow to self-esteem when you are the one to be desired, being made to feel undesirable?

________________________________________________________________________________________

Like anything in life, we tend to avoid or be intimidated by what we don’t understand. But, we can choose to observe, learn, and eliminate the hesitation.

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Source for header photo: Kinsey Mhire Photography

Source for other photos: tumblr and EliteDaily.com.

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297 thoughts on “5 Things Men Need To Learn About Women

  1. Pingback: 5 Things Men Need To Learn About Women | hernandezson

      • EW bitch, why are you writing this? Has society become so feminine that men are starting to validate feelings over truth, thoughts over facts, commitment over individuality? Women are women and men are men. If there was a need for one to become the other, then one would be obsolete.

      • Actually it has been believed since the discovery of the first translated religious texts that Women and men originally spawned from a hermaphrodite race of beings known as the Elohim. The asexual beings split us into single sex organisms in order for us to find our way back to one another in order to understand and appreciate ourselves better. In our single sex forms, humanoids can better appreciate the piece of us we are obviously missing in the opposite sex. This is explained in the bible when Eve was pulled from Atom and the two became lovers. So if it is seen in this way, we are actually supposed to find our feminine side as men in order to better service a woman in love. This doesn’t mean we have to express femininity by any means. It just means we their is a part of us that we need to tap into in situations that require us to have understanding and compassion for our female counterparts. A lot of this is explained in white tantra and Egyptian Yoga.

  2. Sounds like he just yanked these out of the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.”
    Plus, the pics are way too fake and don’t personify the average human, looks more like a J Crew catalog. Obviously this article is placating to women and not men.
    I personally worry more about the state of our world than this petty nonsense, If you can’t communicate with your significant other and be happy without all this babble about What a woman wants, than you’ve already lost. We all should have much bigger things too think about.

    • Hi George, thanks for your comment!

      That’s the second time someone has mentioned the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” I actually haven’t read it, would you recommend it? Sounds like it would be of interest given the topics I write about.

      Thanks again for your feedback, and worry not, plenty of my time is spent discussing “real world” issues – remember, this is only a blog post.

      – JMS

      • Classy response JMS. A true gentleman responds generously even to negativity. Your actions speak louder than your posts. Thank you for witnessing to true masculinity. Praying your blog posts continue reflecting genuine character and depth.

    • you are alone right .now you know why .I have been married to the same women for 30 years and believe me this James guy know what he is talking about .oh and by the way its been30 years HAPPY .

  3. Very well written and very true! Back when my fiance and I were dating, he really thought I was complicated and didn’t understand my personality. Then, as time went by and he got to know me more and more, he learned that I wasn’t complicated at all. He just needed time to grow and understand me.

    Like you said, we’re human beings that want to feel loved, respected, and desired. All my fiance had to do was listen, observe, learn, and love me for who I am. Thanks for writing your article; it’s very genuine and caring.

  4. i read the man one first (being a man) & it was funny but true. A good read & a good laugh. I entertained myself with the woman one & it’s exactly what I thought it would be – a casting role for the lead heart throb in a typical rom-com.
    I have a gf & we get on fine. We are like mates & have a great relationship without all this ‘decompartmenatlize’ crap.

    x

  5. 1. A woman’s feelings are her own responsibility, as mine are mine. People don’t make others feel a certain way. A person reacts to words and actions as they choose.
    2. People work on both logic and emotion, intertwined. You oversimplify. Women are taught to value their emotions over logic and are therefore ghettoized in a world in which they only have indirect control.
    3. Women do compartmentalize. This is just a restatement of thing #2 about women being ruled by their emotions.
    4. Of course what women want isn’t complicated. It’s the delivery system that’s complicated. Trying to hit a target that is moving in a random escape and evasion maneuver fueled by passive aggressiveness is the problem. If we could provide love respect, trust and adoration by just listening and being nice, we would not be having this discussion.
    5. Making the man the pursuer does not yield dividends for women. What it does is create shallow, committment-phobic men who focus on physical beauty and conquests.

    All in all a cursory treatment of conventional wisdom that is neither insightful or news.

    • Thank you! Im so sick of seeing this type of crap on my facebook feed! This reply IS PERFECT, especially #1. When are people going to take some accountability for their own thoughts and feelings? What happens to you is not always able to be controlled, but only you can determine how you react to each given situation.

    • Although I do agree that we are supposed to tap into our masculine and feminine sides in order to better coexist with the opposite sex; this response is pretty accurate in terms of humans needing to be stronger minded in order to overcome adversity.

  6. Nicely written but I disagree and feel the article comes across as stereotyping women as a homogenous group. Not all women feel this way or respond to these stimuli. Cultural, experiential, peer influences and biological leanings all affect the way all humans act and interact. Men and women are different, and once people get their head around THAT then they will start to be more effective with both sexes around them.

  7. Not all women or all men are one way or the other, and it’s people that spread leaping, generalizable, stereotypical trash such as this as though it were verifiable fact that make it worse for boys and girls to make an identity for themselves when they don’t fit these gender constructs.

    It’s interesting that you say that men work with logic and women with feelings when this article doesn’t provide a single ounce of logical information.

  8. I mean no offense, but this is really out of touch with what gender is. I think you’re over generalizing all genders and attributing behaviors on people who are more complex in their wants and personalities then being driven simply by gender. But thanks for not being mean at least, most of these lists tend to read like, “women are annoying and should stop asking to be heard” so thanks for that.

  9. Absolutely LOVE this article. Seems to me however, that the only ones that don’t agree with this is some of the guys. Since the article is about the 5 things to understand about WOMEN, it stands to say that we women are the only one’s that can state whether or not the article is valid…..and since all the women comments are agreeing then GREAT JOB JAMES. 🙂

    • Well said Tiffany! That is very true! Women are the only real sex that can validate how much truth is in this article. A lot of these guys could actually stand to open up mentally and let that sink in for a good while.

    • I like the article too, and am no authority on whether it is accurate or not. I do however find it convenient for you to monopolize the question of whether it is valid, since I think the discussion should be broader than that. As others have commented, it may well be valid, but is it reasonable? Is it reasonable to expect your partner to read your mind, respond exactly as you require, etc.? I would say no. I think it is really damn spoilt.

  10. A guy should always see his girlfriend before doing anything else especially when they don’t live together like high school sweethearts. if he hasn’t seen her in a few days, he should also go see her even if its for 5 or 10 min.

  11. I am a woman and found this article offensive and sexist. It strongly goes along with stereotypes and seperates men and women even more. I can’t believe girls are posting this on my Facebook feed.

    • In what way is this pretty good point of view separating women and men even further? I would like to know the basis for your opinion if you care to share one. Just you typing the words “I am a woman” leads me to believe you just expect the readers to believe your opinion matters more than the multitudes of women who agree with this post and say it is spot on, because your a woman who is against compassionate men apparently. Do you like douchebags or jerks then? Maybe you like pimps and chauvinists? How is it separating us more for a man to give other men advice on how he believes we should be more compassionate to a woman’s care’s and feelings? He isn’t telling us to disregard our own. He’s just telling us how he believes a typical woman thinks and the intelligent way to approach set women. Maybe you aren’t the typical woman, but several women on this feed agree with him. I think compassion is what all humans need to do for one another in order to better get a long on this planet. Compassion promotes unity not division. Believing that compassion and caring promotes division divides you from many.

  12. I feel like you’ve over generalized women completely. Yes, I know some women who would fit this article to a “T”.. However I myself, and others that I know are not nearly anything like this. If I have a bad day I drink a beer, vent, and then get over it. I take responsibility for my emotions and in my relationship, under no circumstances would I feel justified in taking them out on my boyfriend.
    I guess what I’m saying is, you’re wrong. Women are complicated, because we definitely are not as simple as an “one article fix all”. I feel bad for the poor schmuck that takes your mediocre opinion, with obvious lack of experience, as a fact.
    Your ideals are cute though, maybe you should consider writing a romantic comedy or something.

      • just another example of chauvanism what a player no a little boy who has learned to manipulate go get your teddy bear

      • that’s the problem.guys have became so good at their game that its hard to really tell whether it will last or not..because DA fling game now is played different, it reaches a point where one part is like wow!thank GOD I Found MY MEN..before you know it DA white bedsheets are brown cos DA are used to clean the tears of DA end of DA fling game.

    • the douche bags will manage to date us for a short period of time but not for a life time..dated most of them i cnt remember one word they said o i remember is me screening for the lord to save me from hell.cos thats how it feelin lk when u are dating a guy who is uncaring about your feels

  13. Pingback: 11 Things Men Want Women To Know | James Michael Sama

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  15. Pingback: 11 Things Men Want Women To Know | James Michael Sama

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  17. Good job, James. Solid read. I completely agree. We are not as different as men think we are. They just get freaked out because we utilize emotions and men don’t (as much). I love your writing. Hopefully, the rest of the world will see what I see and change for the better. So glad you were rated best male blog! You deserve it! I’m happy to be a new follower and will support you as much as I can.

  18. i loved this, but my only comment is regarding your offering that women are less likely than men to speak their mind about what it is they need or desire. strong, self-actualized women do not operate in this fashion (yes- i said “we” and include myself in that esteemed group of women.) we, quite frankly, operate much like men, in women’s bodies, with a woman’s acceptance of the influence of emotion. and i think that is a good thing. as a gender, we would behoove ourselves if we just for once realized that it’s okay to ask for exactly what you want and, either, receive it, or be told “no.” in many instances, there is nothing wrong with “no.” “no,” in fact, is just as powerful for a woman as it is for a man. the giving of it should be no less painful than the receiving, when it comes to matters such at this one. we should own it, yet we (often) don’t. just my two cents.

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  20. Pingback: 女性について知っておきたい「5つのこと」。これを読めば、うまく付き合える!? | TABI LABO

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