We Can’t Be Honest With Others Until We’re Honest With Ourselves

If we avoid the important questions we’ll never discover the important answers.

I recently posed a question on my Facebook page: What is a non-negotiable dealbreaker for you when it comes to a relationship?

The answers, while varied, largely gravitated towards one simple concept: Honesty.

Being honest with our loved ones should be one of the most basic, fundamental things we should expect from ourselves (and from them in return), but the truth is that so many people aren’t even willing to be honest with themselves. So then, is it really a surprise what a challenge it is to find this quality it in a partner?

Here’s the challenge with being honest with one’s self: We may not like what we find.

The deeper we dig into the important life questions about the path we are on, the career we’ve chosen, or the partner we are committed to, the more we risk the realization that we might’ve made the wrong choice somewhere along the line.

That’s a scary concept. So, most people avoid asking the questions altogether.

This is why clarity on identity and purpose are so important. When we take the time to define and discover what truly makes us fulfilled as an individual, we stop letting the outside opinions and influences of others distract us from what we really want.

Once we begin living a life that drives us forward every day, we become even more certain about our path in every waking moment.

Each decision we make reinforces the last. We begin to feel like we are stacking building blocks on top of each other instead of simply spinning in circles.

Focused action breeds results. Results breed confidence. Confidence leads to self-assuredness, which empowers us to live even more authentically than before.

Authenticity goes hand in hand with honesty.

When we live as our authentic selves we begin to filter out the people who are not really meant for us. We stop spending time in the wrong places, we stop giving our energy to the wrong people, we stop absorbing toxic and negative information.

Simply put: We no longer have time for the bullshit.

This, seemingly by magic, starts attracting the right people and opportunities to us. Our projection of self becomes a beacon, a signal to our tribe. “I’m over here!“

That’s how they find us. That’s how we find them. And when we come together, there is no need for putting on a facade or pretending to be someone or something we’re not.

Because we have made the conscious effort to accept, know, and love ourselves, we have less tolerance for those who pull us off of our path.

This is the strongest case I can think of for putting in the [sometimes scary, sometimes difficult] work of being completely honest with ourselves.

The reward is living the life that you’re meant for. The price of avoiding it, is never truly creating fulfillment.

Stay loyal to you, and nothing will be able to pull you off track.

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