10 Things Men Secretly Want in a Wife


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Psssst, come a little closer for a second…

Are you tired of how hard it is to figure out what men want? It seems as though we are communicating with each other less and less. This means we know less and less about what each other wants – both in life and relationships.

I know it can be difficult to read men these days… they don’t just come out and tell you what they want. So that’s why I made you this video. Let’s dive into the things men secretly want in a potential future wife…

So tell me, which of these qualities do YOU possess? Take a minute to brag a little bit in the comments below. I want to know the amazing traits you bring to a relationship!

Thanks for watching and I’ll speak to you next week.

Summary –

1. She is kindhearted.

A kindhearted woman is thoughtful, loving, and caring. When she smiles at him, he has no choice but to smile back. A woman who radiates warmth from her heart does small things for her partner just because she loves him (Of course, a good man will do the same for her). This is the type of woman a man wants to marry.

2. She is understanding and empathetic.

Being compassionate, supportive, and encouraging towards your partner is a huge part of building a successful relationship. Nobody wants a ‘Debbie Downer’ who won’t support her partner in their endeavors or in times of need. Life is full of challenges that a couple will face together, particularly a married couple. He wants a wife who can handle these challenges with him as a team.

3. She is ambitious.

In addition to supporting and encouraging her partner’s own goals and dreams, she also has her own set of goals and dreams. An ambitious woman has a vision for her future and chases after it with voracity. An ambitious woman will be someone you can take on the world with… a partner in crime and teammate in life.

4. She is consistent.

Think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If she is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how she will act on a given day. This gets old no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.

Another way to be consistent is to be authentic throughout the entire dating process. Don’t send your ‘representative’ self for the first few months of dating and drastically change once he’s committed to you. Being consistent is a valuable virtue that every man wants in a wife.

5. She is willing to put in effort for you.

Sometimes the romance wears off in a longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it! It just takes a little bit of consistent effort to keep things going. It can be something as simple as planning a surprise outing for the two of you.

Furthermore, a woman who continues to do what she knows her partner was attracted in the beginning shows she cares about keeping them around… definite wifey material!

6. You both hold similar values.

Many times our value system comes from our upbringing and includes things that are important to us, what we believe strongly in, ways we treat other, and ways we treat ourselves. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or how well you get along, if your values don’t align you will clash in the longterm. So, similar values equals wife potential, but don’t compromise your own values in the process.

7. Physical attractiveness.

Yes, both men and women need to be physically attracted to their partner to start a relationship. However, attractiveness also plays an important role in holding the relationship together. I am in no way suggesting a woman has to fit a certain image of beauty in order to be considered wife material. Every man is attracted to a different type of woman and has his own personal tastes.

8. She is friendly and sociable.

I enjoy being social and love having my girlfriend by my side during those situations. We naturally find ourselves together at events or when hanging out with friends. No man wants to be worry about the attitude his girlfriend or wife is going to give off in a social situation or when meeting his friends or coworkers.

9. She has a sense of humor.

We know how important it is to women for the man in their life to have a good sense of humor, but it’s equally important in the other direction.

If a guy has a great sense of humor, it will be lost on a woman who is too dry or stiff. Furthermore, it could cause tension if he is often joking around and she becomes annoyed due to her seriousness.

It is important for a couple to be able to be playful and joke around with each other. It helps lighten the mood, makes extended periods of time together more fun, and never gets old. A woman you can share your humor with is what any man wants in a wife and partner.

10. She is loving and affectionate.

It may not need to be said, but being loving and affectionate symbolizes connection. It brings a warm and loving feeling. It would be difficult to build a long-term relationship with a woman who shrugs off your arm and always feels separate.

Every man is going to want something a little different in a woman he wants to marry, but I challenge you to find a guy who disagrees with these 10 points!


  1. Farhana on February 6, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    I loved the video clipping of the 10 things that men look for in a woman. Unbelievably so, I have all of these 10 qualities within me. Blessed and grateful!

    • Gina on September 4, 2017 at 8:12 am

      lol I saw these traits and said “this is me!!” I thought what a lucky man I have. We have been married 21 years!!!

  2. joan on February 6, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    I was all that. Then why did he leave me for someone else after 25 years.

    • aime on February 14, 2017 at 2:41 am

      hi joan

      u have all the best qualities for the wrong guy to exploit in his self-centred ways. guys like that will make u feel that these are more your weaknesses than qualities. hope this article reminds u of who u are. treasure ur qualities. the right guy deserves these precious values in you once he discovers the true beauty inside you !

      • Flannery on February 21, 2017 at 2:37 am

        True aime

      • Elizabeth on September 18, 2019 at 1:52 pm

        I agree, and as painful as this might sound, while you may be a woman who possesses all (or most) of the 1-10 listed qualities, that does not mean the man you are considering is deserving of what you have to offer. Remarkable women must also pay attention to the traits they posses as well.

    • Flannery on February 21, 2017 at 2:36 am

      Bec he loved himself more, ugh .good riddance

  3. Michelle on February 6, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    According to these 10 qualities, I guess I really AM quite a catch!! 😉 thanks!

  4. Richard on February 7, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    Great article. I just told a woman that I just met that one of the 4 things I need from the woman that I commit to is Kindness.

  5. Dana on February 17, 2017 at 11:07 am

    Thanks for adding the summary below now! I really appreciate it, now I can check out your posts during my breaks again

  6. […] Originally posted at Jamesmsama.com […]

  7. Dawghoused on May 2, 2017 at 9:28 am

    All these tips are very helping for a woman to impress a man. Additionally, I want to share few relationship tips for men who want to impress their partner: Always care for her, be loyal, stay more time with her, give attention to her and praise her time to time. For more tips you can read this post.www.marriageadviceformenyolasite.com

  8. […] article was originally published at James M Sama. Reprinted with permission from the […]

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