How Nick From The Bachelorette Makes Men Look Bad (SPOILER ALERT)


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Regardless of whether or not you watch the hit ABC show, The Bachelorette, it can be recognized that watching fast paced relationships with multiple strangers all living in one house unfold, can be…”educational” so to speak.

Educational in the sense that observations of these relationships can show us human nature and how we react under pressure, when we’re happy, and when we’re upset.

One great example of this is tonight’s season finale of The Bachelorette, where the “runner up,” Nick, came on live television to confront Andi, the woman who turned him down.

Nick’s argument and justification for being heartbroken – which let me say – I can understand, was that he felt Andi’s actions and words towards him were not genuine. The fact that she was so loving towards him but did not choose him in the end, made him feel betrayed.

While I can sympathize with having feelings for someone who does not have them of the same intensity in return, it was still obvious that Nick let his feelings overcome his rational on live television.

Nick, on live TV, to a newly engaged woman who let him go, made public that they “made love” during the filming of the show.

Yikes. Awkward.

What are we seeing in action here? We are seeing a man who has shown that no matter how sweet, caring, and genuine he could seem – when the time came that he was no longer seeking the approval of a woman and when he had already “lost,” his true colors came out, and they weren’t pretty.


You can’t judge the character of a man by how he acts when he is trying to get something he wants. The real person comes out in times of adversity. Times of stress. Times of disappointment.

For what it’s worth, anyone who watches the show understands that the guys in the house knew Nick was full of it throughout most of the season. Could this be a hint for women to seek the advice of other men when it comes to relationships? Perhaps.

Please understand that there are genuine men out there who will not turn on you at the first sign of disappointment. By blatantly violating the privacy of the woman he minutes earlier professed his loves on live television, Nick made men look terrible.

Male or female, it is difficult for us to see someone for who they really are when we are emotionally invested in them.

Always remember, it is in times of difficulty that our character is truly revealed.


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  1. Marissa Yoder on July 28, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    I applaud you for getting this up so quickly! What a great topic, after what was shown tonight (someone must have been watching with his girlfriend!). But, you have some great points here; Nick basically put a nail in his own coffin, confirming to Andi why he was wrong for her. I follow your blog on the reg, but I really liked this one. Keep it up!

  2. Stacey on July 28, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    I cannot believe I opened this post just before I turned on the finale… You really should have waited until it had aired on the west coast

    • James Michael Sama on July 28, 2014 at 11:20 pm

      Ahhh terribly sorry! I edited all posts on social media as well as the title, saying it has a spoiler alert. My apologies…

      • Stacey on July 28, 2014 at 11:28 pm

        No worries… I am fairly certain it was not intentional as no true gentleman would spoil a good finale!

    • Niki on July 29, 2014 at 12:51 am

      It says spoiler alert at the top. You really should pay closer attention.

      • James Michael Sama on July 29, 2014 at 12:53 am

        In Stacey’s defense, Niki, it was my mistake to not put spoiler alert at first. I added it in there after she made this comment. I take responsibility for the oversight, hopefully I fixed it in time before many more people read it before they saw the show.

      • Stacey on July 29, 2014 at 1:10 am

        Thanks for the back-up James!

  3. Mary Jane on July 28, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    You hit the nail on the head! I bet Nick’s unnecessary & unkind betrayal of Andi’s confidence in the private moments of their relationship, only confirmed to her that she made the absolute best choice! Unfortunately, his very public betrayal will overshadow the happiness she truly deserves, especially after she was so gentle & respectful to him in ending their relationship.

    • discusted on July 29, 2014 at 12:20 am

      Are you kidding me. Who sleeps with someone – leading them on to think that there was more then there was. If she knew she had more feelings for Josh she had no business sleeping with Nick. Nick tried to talk to her in private but she wouldn’t. As far as I’m concerned she totally deserved that and he was not in the wrong for saying it!

      • Jeff on March 3, 2015 at 2:20 am

        Typical dude thinking that women owe men something. News flash bro: women don’t owe you shit. If she wants to sleep with both guys, she can because she’s single. Duh! Get your head out of 1964.

  4. Stephanie on July 28, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    Hi James, I was watching the Bachelorette (which I never do) and I was sitting there thinking wow Josh is very eager (and nervous and sweaty) and they seem to have a lot in common. You could tell that Josh was in it to win it and Andi was still questioning things- although they had great physical chemistry. Then Nick comes in and I think he’s a good Midwestern boy but something isn’t clicking. I could see in Andi’s face that she was like he’s a sweet man but not her man, then when he said I cant wait to go grocery shopping with you I almost spit out my seltzer! I was like what?? “Hey sweetie I’m so in love with you lets go get some snacks at MB” (oh wait you cant right now). Anyway yes it’s true that going anywhere with the one you love because you want to spend time with them no matter where you go, but it just sounded so bananas, like this is it, we’re going to do this, she’s going to pick me and I’ve got 2 for 1 coupons ready to go! Anywhoo, I knew she want not going to choose him and then I thought this show is so weird. I mean yes they are each looking for true love and a life partner and the odds are low that they will find them in a pool of 25 on a national television show but there is the possibility but then you see this unfold and you’re like what is this? If two people are really in love and they are ready to get married I think they both would have the feeling and they would know on a core, gut, spiritual level. Not when the clock is ticking and there quick, shizzle, pick someone, get the cash, run for your life, propose to me, here’s your ring, kiss the bride and cut!!! It seems there is too much Hollywood and not enough Heart. Something is up for sure. I didn’t event get to see the next part with the final decision and Nick’s outburst (I bet the execs were like quick edit that out- nah keep it in for ratings) as a girlfriend of mine called and we started chatting and I lost track of the show, but I figured she would pick Josh and now its just a matter of time before the curtain raises and the truth reveals itself. I am not saying that true love cant be found on TV, heck it can be found at train, plane, bus station and everything and everywhere in between, but there is something that doesn’t resonate and I can hear the minor chords being strummed to an out of tune rhythm. (I know this was not necessarily about how Nick makes men look bad (and I agree with you) but it was a comment that I wanted to share from a point of view of someone who has only seen the show one other time – and I’m sure I’ve used up the character max 🙂

  5. Nicole on July 28, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    You said it perfectly!

  6. Nicki on July 28, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    Yeah, and the crazy thing is, I think the producers wanted him to be the next bachelor as they usually tell the audience who the next bachelor will be during the final reunion. But after he exposed himself for the kind of man he really is, I think they had to back out of it at the last minute.

  7. Sara on July 29, 2014 at 12:10 am

    Your comment on the real person is so accurate. I experienced it firsthand, it taught me a lot and is one reason I am where I am in life.

  8. Jane on July 29, 2014 at 4:34 am

    Yes! I felt bad for him until he said that. It was such a betrayal and cheap thing to do. Proved why she didn’t pick him. If Josh was in his place, I can’t see him blasting her like that. Character really is revealed during the “hard” moments. Can’t believe he’d go that far…

  9. Gina on July 29, 2014 at 6:39 am

    No real man tells of a private moment with a woman. Nick is a loser

  10. Diana/ on July 29, 2014 at 9:17 am

    I don’t think anyone is shocked at what happens in the fantasy suite. Trying out physical intimacy with both men, may have helped Andi decide between the two men. After all, there has to be sexual compatibility for a marriage to last and be satisfactory. I can understand Nick being very very disappointed. It is naive of him to think that one time sex always leads to commitment.

    • James Michael Sama on July 29, 2014 at 9:18 am

      I absolutely agree with you Diana!

    • Sara on July 29, 2014 at 10:54 am

      That was exactly what I was thinking.

  11. earlyowl on July 29, 2014 at 9:42 am

    I enjoy your observations! Mostly I think reality tv is so silly, yet i watch it anyways, and sometimes there are moments that make you think about things like relationships or how people present themselves. Anyways, I usually don’t do the link to my blog thing, but since I just wrote this post and it fits with this theme, here are my thoughts on this tv series. Thanks again for your posts!

  12. rickyzg on July 29, 2014 at 9:50 am

    My advice for all women who don’t have luck finding decent men or having releationships which don’t work out because of wrong image you created is “quit watching shows like The Bachelorette or similar. Change the way you think. The people from tv knows what are desires people want, and that isn’t in real life. You will always be dissapointed, work on yourself and don’t have much fantasy expetations but draw the line somewhere. Read books, learn from real outdoor people, learn to listen. Don’t be selfish for focus only on your needs. Same for the guys. Love you all.
    PS. Gina don’t write bad words about someone, it will reflect on you. Focus on positive traits of personality. You are not better then him if you are thinking the way you think.

    • Jeff on March 3, 2015 at 2:22 am

      Lol so women should change the way they think but not the men? Pretty sure it’s you that needs a change of thinking. Everybody knows that these TV shows are just TV. Stop acting like it’s the women who are to blame when it’s 100% the men of today that have let down society and the women.

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