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How Men Should Really See Women

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I don’t know about you, but I have recently come across an influx of articles lately about men and women, relationships, gender roles and stereotypes, and who knows what else. People are attempting to fit each other into boxes, and then claim why the boxes shouldn’t be there, and then get into the same box themselves to make a point that we are all kind of sort of the same.

It’s ridiculous.

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As men, we can only look out into the world from behind our own eyes. We can attempt to understand the perspective and struggle(s) of being a woman, but we can only truly apply a limited amount of empathy.

What we’ve got to do is change the way that we view women, both as a whole and as individual people. If we change how we view them, we will change how we treat them as a society, and eliminate more problems than we could probably imagine.

For starters, we need to eliminate the notion that equal has to mean “the same.” Men and women are equal in the amount of respect and fairness in treatment that they deserve, but we are not the same as each other.

Our differences provide us with unlimited learning experiences. Women are an enigma (as are men), as are each of the 7 billion individuals on this planet. We all have unique upbringings, backgrounds, strengths, and weaknesses. All of which can be appreciated and learned from.

As men, we have to recognize the strengths women have that we often times, just don’t. They are more empathetic, nurturing, and generally more emotionally in-tune than men are. Obviously some men have these strengths and some women lack them, but the idea is to respect it an equal amount as we respect physical strength or other traditionally “male” type qualities.

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In fact, if we did respect all of these qualities equally, then men would be more willing to examine their own selves and become more in touch with other emotions, feelings, or interests they may not have even known existed. In turn, being able to live a more well-rounded, fulfilling life.

Too often in society anything feminine or emotional is seen as inherently weaker than the opposite. This is ridiculous and is just another symptom of the false pretense that “different” means “bad.”

Speaking of different – Women have different views and outlooks on the world than men do. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with women where I’ve stopped and said “you know, I never thought of it that way.” This is an infinitely valuable characteristic to be cherished and explored – not oppressed and stifled.

To think that some countries in the world still don’t even let women drive or become properly educated is devastating. How can we expect to maximize our productivity and happiness as a race if we are under-utilizing (or not utilizing at all) half of the brain power in so many countries?

Women should be alongside men in roles of authority in order to provide these valuable insights, and a good man will understand and appreciate this benefit.

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By being alongside men, they are not “underneath,” “behind,” or “below” men. They are not conquests or objects. They are not targets to be aimed for. They are not entitlements that you “deserve” because you think you’re a good person. They are daughters, mothers, sisters, cousins, and loved ones. But, before they are any of those things – they are human.

They have wants, needs, and desires. Emotions, hopes, dreams, and goals. We should support and encourage them in all of these things, as they do for us.

And most of all, they are not “they” – they are we. And we are human.

This, is how men should really see women. Equal, but not the same. And that is a beautiful thing.

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9 Comments

  1. Roger K. on June 22, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    Our society tends to converge towards efficiency, and this has spilled over into the realm of interpersonal relations. It can’t work like that. Every single person is different — you don’t find that out by looking at a socioeconomic status, or gender, race, any other stratification.

    This article is great in the context of explaining the man’s perspective of women, and it goes beyond that. People are like snowflakes under a microscope, that they’re all unique if you look close enough.

  2. khojia on June 23, 2014 at 2:24 am

    This is so beautifully written, my perception in general of what is and what should be got a bit better, thank you 😊

  3. OilyQueen on June 23, 2014 at 8:12 am

    LIKE LIKE LIKE!!! so incredibly well said!!!

  4. Joe on June 23, 2014 at 8:12 am

    This article starts off by saying the putting people in boxes (i.e. stereotypes) is not beneficial. Then it proceeds to define its own stereotypes about men and women.

    • James Michael Sama on June 23, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Hi Joe,

      Can you explain a little further which stereotypes I perpetuate in this article? Not every inherent quality associated with a type of person is a “stereotype” – it’s simply a factual accuracy.

      Thanks for reading!

      – James

  5. wallflowerblossoming on June 23, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Love this article! One of the best I’ve read so far. Thank you!

  6. Mavellian on June 23, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    To give into too much emotion over reason or right judgment is equally weak for both genders. Emotions on both parties must be learned to be controlled and not allowed to run its course. I believe the only way a woman can become a woman and a man a man is purely by virtue. But of course that defies all of society and turns society and their opinions upside down. Virtue leads to truth and true equality.

  7. emilyfieldphotos on June 23, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    This was a refreshing read and incredibly well said. I think this topic is something that is easily offensive to some people if not written in the proper way, and the way this is written is brilliant and not offensive, which proves it’s brilliance again. I’m distracted easily (very easily) so sitting down and fully reading an article of this length is normally difficult for me, yet in this article I was interested and didn’t want to stop reading.
    Thank you for the refreshing new outlook and wonderful read.

    Emily

  8. materese on June 25, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    A beautiful article, thank you! You nailed it when you say “we need to eliminate the notion that equal means the same”. Many women would benefit from understanding that it’s OK to be feminine, and to learn to accept the unique gifts that men can give us which balance us out. Of course, this whole concept can be taken to another level, and help improve relationships not just between men and women, but between differing cultures, religions, etc.

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