As we find ourselves in the ‘hookup generation,’ it may seem as though hope for happiness or healthy relationships is lost. It may seem as though the women of today are only to be found huddled around VIP tables at nightclubs with men who have as much depth as a puddle after a rainstorm.
I’m glad to be the one to say, have hope gentlemen, this is not the case. There are many genuinely goodhearted women out there waiting for you to show them that not all of us are the same.
However, there are two sides to the coin – there are a lot of our fellow men out there who have no idea how to treat a woman, and the women know it. So, how do you differentiate yourself?
Leave the games at the door.
Typical ‘social proof’ strategies should be ditched when trying to attract a woman of quality. If you think surrounding yourself with multiple beautiful women constantly and plastering the photos all over Facebook will make the one you want think that you’re a quality catch who will give her your full attention…Think again.
A woman who knows her value will only be with a man who recognizes it as well. If she thinks she’s going to be fighting a sea of competition for your attention, she’ll be moving on before you even find out her middle name.
When it comes to mature women, genuine kindness wins.
Realize your money doesn’t matter.
Yes, every woman wants a man who is ambitious, has goals in life, and can provide her with security alongside her own. But, the right woman won’t want you just because of those things. She doesn’t need to mooch off of you, and therefore using your money to impress her will be a wasted effort.
The right woman doesn’t want your car, your money, or gifts. She wants your time, your effort, your honesty, your loyalty, and your respect.
Don’t be afraid to be nice.
Men are (often rightfully so) afraid that being nice to women will land them in what they call the “friend zone.” Correction: Being too nice or being a doormat is what lands you in the friend zone. Being chivalrous, respectful, and dignified will land you in much better places.
If you feel that being nice has been a detriment to your dating life, then there are two possibilities at hand: As mentioned above, you have been too nice and haven’t earned her respect, or, you simply haven’t found the right type of woman who appreciates you.
Class never goes unnoticed by a mature woman, gentlemen.
Keep it real, man.
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to dating if you’re looking for something serious. There’s no point, or sense, in over-exaggerating or lying to a woman who you are genuinely interested in (or any woman) because she will find out eventually and you’ll be kicked to the curb.
The right woman will want you for you, not because of who you are or what you (say) you have.
Leave the club scene.
This one requires a disclaimer: I do know of some amazing couples who are madly in love that found each other through nightlife, often because they both work in the industry. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule.
But, if you are a “club rat,” then you will have a much more difficult time finding a woman who will take you seriously, and not assume off the bat you are just a player, playing her.
Conversely, often times men and women who spend much of their time out in clubs are just looking to have a good time, rather than find a commitment. This is not to say they are any less “quality” of people, but simply that the odds are higher that they’re looking for the same thing as you are – so it’s best to fish in different ponds.
We’ve all got to grow up sometime. The fun and challenge of meeting women out in the city on the weekends is great for a while, but eventually you will want something, and someone, more meaningful. Trying to go about this the same way you’ve gone about trying to find one night stands, will lead to a perpetual “Single” status on your Facebook.
Man up, suit up, become the best version of yourself without changing you you really are – and you will find someone who loves you for it.
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