Will The ‘Hookup Generation’ Ruin Our Future?


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As a 20-something year old male who used to work in nightlife in a fairly major American city, I’ve observed, and learned more from the “hookup culture” than I’d care to admit.

But, it does make you think.


It makes you wonder, is this the way things are going to be now? Instead of looking for someone of quality to spend their lives with, are those in our generation and younger just going to be looking for the next fling?

Furthermore, what about all of the children who are being produced by this culture? Marriage before children, or marriage at all, is almost becoming a seemingly ridiculous thought.

It seems almost weekly there is a new ultrasound photo from a girl who was just partying her ass off the weekend before screaming “YOLO!”


I’m sure many girls, when faced with this situation, will put the vodka bottles down and become loving, caring mothers. Others, will take 9 months off and dive back into the sea of house music and blurred vision because they’ve not yet grown out of it.

The nuclear family is slowly becoming a thing of the past in modern culture. I don’t think it will ever go completely extinct, but it’s certainly more rare.

Where are the values in these generations? Where are the role models?


And the more serious question – what kind of children will be raised by those who, themselves, do not have someone to look up to or learn from?

How will the next generations run our countries and businesses?

We have to be the role models. We have to be the role models to our younger brothers, sisters, cousins, neighbors…

Our generations, though not much older than the ones after us, need to be the ones who teach our young men it’s their job to respect women – and our young women that it’s their job to give the men something to respect.


Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below, or tweet me at @JamesMSama.


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  1. Xhenisa lamani on September 23, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    Ps, i dont think this generation will change but infact get worse . Its very sad but true now its getting ridiculous women think like men and well men think like players soo therefore it has become a game that everyone in participating in its like a force pulling you in because now KARMA is getting out of hand and women believe of giving it 😉

    • Eliana Wright on November 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm

      If I may ask what is wrong with thinking like a guy? So guys think like players. Which apparently they are genetically wired for. Hmm… guess we got to change their minds and show them that they have more than enough with just one woman. A game can be stopped, it’s called stop participating. It works, by the way this game has been around for a long time usually referred to as flirting. So women are not the only ones using “KARMA” as a way to justify themselves. Karma may be a rather flimsy excuse but think on this even without the title ‘karma’ one is going to want to get revenge in the pursuit of feeling better about themselves. I apologize if this comment came out sounding like an attack. It was not intended as so. I just want to understand how people can view my generation in this way. This isn’t a sudden appearance after all. It’s a movement that has been slowly building throughout the ages.

      • Nathaniel on November 29, 2013 at 10:33 pm

        not all men think like that and more often than you think a guy gives all to a girl who doesnt deserve it, most players are who they are cause they got their hearts broken, too many women have being strong and being a bitch confused, its good to be strong, but if you have a good man who loves you dont be fucked up to him, cause he doesnt deserve the bullshit you should give the guy who often times is treated lovingly by this girl, the guy that aint her boyfriend, the guy that only wants to fuck her and doesnt love her

  2. Jerome on September 27, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    This behavior, which in lesser degrees all previous generations followed, only exists by being propped up by the thin veneer of materialism supplied by ….somebody with a job. Once the bills are paid, the message is, me me me. What’s missing more than ever is a weekly moment of reflection on a life well-lived. Churches used to be the go-to for this, today, pretty much nothing serves the masses, who have turned their backs. This is not about religion, just that there is no social habit, no location, where most of these young hooker-uppers get any spiritual and long-term emotional enhancement in which to grow their wisdom. A group like this cannot long survive without a true nurturing sense of focus and purpose AS a group.

  3. Eliana Wright on November 19, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    I realise that the bad in situations tends to stand out more in people’s minds but allow me to give hope. I am of this generation and scattered among us is many with traditional values. I know in your article you mention there are a dwindling number of us but I believe your view is more dismal than what reality is. I’ve only ever dated guys who can handle the fact that if we are going out it’s just us and I’m looking for forever not a month or two. I didn’t have to struggle to find them and bonus they came to me. I believe the Y generation had their example in all the ruined relationships they saw in their parents. I’m referring to the increased divorce rates and separations that have given many of us the idea that if it starts to be a bother, just let it go don’t try to fix it. – by the way I love your posts. I just discovered your blog yesterday.

  4. Kaitlyn on November 22, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    I know first hand, personally and through talking to my friends, that our parents play a large role in how we view marriage and relationships. When half of our parents are divorced what kind of message is that sending to us about the legitimacy of relationships? I have friends who grew up with parents who are madly in love and because of that example they want that too, and they refuse to settle for anything less than the type of relationship their parents had. I also have friends who grew up and any couple they could look up to is divorced. We live in a society where when we hear of a couple being married for twenty five years we go ‘wow thats a long time’. I usually don’t read these types of articles because they just list the ways my generation is going to ruin society and how we lack any type of moral compass. But i appreciate that you said you guys need to be role models because it’s true. The divorce rate of past generations makes us question the legitimacy of marriage and relationships in general.

  5. everythingfabb on November 27, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    I completely agree with this whole post. The whole partying phase is getting so out of control. It’s like a vicious cycle. You work all week and go out on the weekends. This is what triggers the “hookup” generation. You can’t find a quality relationship at a club where everyone’s perception is altered by alcohol. At the same time, if you’re not going out every weekend getting drunk you’re considered boring. Maybe if we all changed our point of views, we would find people more willing to engage in meaningful relationships rather then just hookup and move on to the next.

  6. Becky Gray on January 9, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Hi James, I agree with the truths you’ve shared here. My boss is writing a book about the hookup culture. For the book cover, we are trying to find the copyright holder to the 3rd image down in this blog entry: https://jamesmsama.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/not8.png?w=590 We have done multiple reverse image searches but cannot locate the owner. Are you the copyright holder or know who is? Thank you for any help you can provide. Keep spreading the truth!

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