If you have been reading my website for awhile, you may have seen me share videos from a good friend of mine, Adam LoDolce from SexyConfidence.com. Adam combines humor with fun videos and great advice.
In this latest entry, Adam discusses 5 reasons why men marry certain women but not others. In other words, what traits he looks for in a potential wife. Any man who takes marriage seriously will understand that the commitment is made with the understanding that you are choosing one person to be with for the rest of your life.
After watching this video and listening to the reasons Adam listed (taken from two of his best friends who recently got married), I completely agreed and wanted to share with all of you.
So, what are these five reasons? Find out below:
Adam’s new book puts the world of dating and relationships into perspective. He breaks down the ideas of “rules” and replaces them with the importance of critical mindsets that we can take with us into every interaction. I will be encouraging everyone I know to get a copy of this book when it is released – we can all learn from it
1. She’s my best friend.
As Adam points out in the video, the vast majority of time you spend with anyone, particularly in a marriage, will not be having sex. You need to actually be friends with this person – best friends preferably. Not just love her, but like her. Be able to sit in silence and enjoy each other’s company rather than feel a constant need to fill spaces between conversations with small talk or physical intimacy. Obviously frequent intimacy is a great sign in a relationship, but the point here is to make sure it is not the foundation of your relationship.
“It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
2. She’s great with family.
This one is big for me, as I was raised in a very close family. For me, someone who appreciates and values family (both her own, and mine) is essential to building a strong, healthy relationship. Holidays, special occasions, even Sunday dinners – to be able to comfortably share these experiences with the woman you love is a great feeling. Not to mention if you do want to start a family someday, being with a woman who shares the same values and outlooks as you do will make the road much smoother.
3. She wants what I want.
When we are talking about marriage, we are talking about a life long commitment. Not the next 5 years, or 10 years, or even 20…but “’til death do us part.'” To maximize your chances of success and minimize risk of divorce, your overall views of the future should line up at least relatively well. There always has to be room for compromise of course, but you are still traveling down the same road together.
4. She challenges me.
The right woman will motivate you to become the best version of yourself, without changing who you are, just by being in your life. She will make you want to be, more, and do better – both for yourself and for her. It’s about learning, growing, and improving alongside your teammate in life. Both as individuals and as a team.
5. I was ready.
Maybe the most important point of all. I think everyone reading this can relate to growing through different phases in life and wanting different things. As we grow and progress, we become more serious and clear on what we want. What we want for ourselves, our life, and in a teammate. You could be the perfect man or woman for somebody, but it won’t matter if they are not at a point in their life where they are ready for you.
When a man is ready, he will begin to recognize and appreciate qualities in women that he probably would not have desired just a few years earlier. When the right woman walks into his life, she will open his eyes to the reasons why none of his previous relationships worked out. Timing is everything.
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