Large age gaps in Hollywood relationships, or even relationships in general, are not a new thing. I have age gaps as large as 12 years apart in relationships within my own family, as well.
But the latest situation raising eyebrows is 57 year old ‘Ray Donovan’ actor, Steven Bauer (Who is Melanie Griffith’s ex-husband, with whom he has a 28 year old son), and his now 18 year old girlfriend, Lyda Loudon.
I actually put a Facebook status up on my personal page earlier this morning, which has quite the momentum if you would like to add your two cents.
Still, this begs the question: How young is too young? Whether it is scientifically accurate or not in my circles we have always half-jokingly spoken about the equation where if you cut your age in half, and then add seven, that is the age of the youngest person you should date. Meaning myself at 29 should date no younger than about 21.
For Steven Bauer at 57, this puts his youngest potential mate at around 35. I can get on board with 57 and 35. In fact I’d probably give him a pat on the back for it.
But 18? He could still literally be the father of the 35 year old woman, but also theoretically the grandfather of his current girlfriend. Age aside though, to develop a solid foundation for a healthy relationship, do we not need to have common life goals? Common interests? Things to talk about, discuss, and enjoy together?
A friend of mine and fellow writer, Zareh, makes a point about the age difference:
There is absolutely NO way, the 18 year old has gone through the development stages to even understand the guy on the same level. (Read basic psychology of Erik Eriksons development stages) There are millions of layers that they probably do not synchronize on (and this is trying to look at it logically), because quite frankly this is just another illogical, idiotic relationship based on money and sex. There should not even be an argument about this, that’s how obviously weird this is.
Some may call me naive for actually thinking that this is about the conversation or about developing love together, but think about it; this is his girlfriend. Commitment is inferred here. This is not a fling or a girl that he was caught with sneaking out of a restaurant by the paparazzi. This is someone who he is bringing around his family and building a relationship with. I’m just not quite sure how.
Am I judging? Well, not really I guess. I am just a little perplexed by the whole thing and why a man of his stature has any interest in a girl who is probably not even really aware of who she is yet as a person or as a woman. Let alone what she wants out of life or out of a man.
When I was 18, would I have dated an older famous actress? Sure, why not? So maybe I can’t fault them that much. But the motives are still of course, in question. Her mother even wrote a blog post about the situation, in which she stated:
“My daughter’s choice has challenged me,” wrote Gentry Loudon, an author and Fox News contributor. “In perspective, this was a choice regarding love. She did not choose to break the law, harm an innocent or betray our country. Several friends asked us to consider whether love really is a choice. Others beseeched us to embrace that she found a special love with a special, gentle man. These were defining questions.”
I’m sure there are a million different opinions on this topic so I would like to hear yours. Use the comment section below to chime in or send me a tweet at @JamesMSama. How young is too young?
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