Regardless of your personal opinions towards the ABC show “The Bachelor,” and even if you’ve never seen a single episode, odds are you’ve come across a post or two about the debacle that was this past season’s bachelor, Juan Pablo Galavis.
Anyone who watched “After The Final Rose” understands the tense awkwardness that permeated the entire episode.
But, there are lessons to be learned.
Looks will only get you so far.
Juan Pablo started out this season as a fan favorite. People were tuning into The Bachelor who had never watched it before, just because of Juan Pablo. He is athletic, attractive, and has an accent – a hat trick for ratings.
But, as the season went on – it became obvious (especially when women started walking out of the show) that he was often not only confusing – but downright offensive towards the girls. I have said this before, but it doesn’t matter how good looking you are, if a woman is uncomfortable around you, nothing else matters.
Be direct with your thoughts.
What…in…the…hell…was Juan Pablo talking about most of the time? I understand that English is his second language, but I know plenty of people in this situation who can still articulate their thoughts and are willing to collaborate during a conversation.
JP seemed to dance around any question asked, or resort to his now-famous tag line, “It’s ok…”
When you’re trying to build a relationship with someone, them having no idea what you’re thinking is not ok.
Take the time to get to know her.
Not that this should actually have to be said, but if someone who was chosen to date 25 women on national television doesn’t know it, then a few others probably have to read it, too.
Multiple women during this season had the same complaint: Juan Pablo knew nothing about them, and they really didn’t know much about him, either. I understand it’s difficult getting to know many people in a short amount of time while you’re surrounded by cameras, but that’s all the more reason to talk about actual important details.
If a man is really interested in you, the building stage of your relationship shouldn’t be learning what your favorite color is. What drives you? What are your goals, dreams, passions and ambitions? Will you two “work” together?
Don’t be rude.
As if Juan Pablo wasn’t already behind the 8-ball, he repeatedly accused The Bachelor’s host, Chris Harrison, of interrupting him during the “After The Final Rose” show. Harrison is a man who helps facilitate the entire season and offers advice along the way. Being the only other man consistently on air throughout the season, it looks from the outside as if a camaraderie is formed, but, apparently not.
The resounding boo’s from the crowd after JP’s passive-aggressive comments and “It’s ok” responses, it became clear he lost any fan base he had left.
If there is one positive thing I can say about Juan Pablo, it’s that he doesn’t lie about his feelings. He’s been criticized repeatedly for not saying that he loves Nikki (the girl he chose) and not proposing to her – but let’s be real for a second.
Their experience on the show consisted of 6 weeks traveling to exotic locations with multiple other women. Literally down to the last second, there was at least one other woman in the picture. While the show is designed for two people to “find true love,” is this really realistic? I have more respect for JP for not professing feelings he doesn’t really have, only to create a worse mess for himself and Nikki down the road.
While the ending of the season was anti-climactic for the audience without a proposal, choosing to not propose and just to begin really dating in order to get to know each other, was a smarter move for JP.
Shows like The Bachelor attempt to make fairy tales come to life – and I’m sure many of the experiences throughout the season are magical, but anyone can feel like they’re falling in love living in a dream world.
Some love the drama of the show, some just watch it because their partner likes it, and some people refuse to because they think it’s just downright stupid – but like anything in life (especially observing relationships), if you search for lessons, you can probably find some.
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