How To Make Accepting Others Easier


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This is a topic a little out of the usual dating and relationship realm, but it does have to do with relationships, in general.

As humans, we have a natural tendency to judge others. She has too much acne. His voice is too feminine. I won’t date someone that short. Why do you have to like such terrible music?

Whether we like to admit it or not, we all do this. Some worse than others. Some take it to the extreme and lash out at those who they judge. They oppress, discriminate against, or even be violent towards them.


Let’s try a quick test inspired by a profoundly articulate talk on free will from Sam Harris [ [twitter-follow screen_name=’SamHarrisOrg’] ]. – Think of three major cities, right now.

Which three popped into your head? Why those three? Did you choose them, or were they just…there? Out of thousands of cities you are familiar with, it is likely that somehow your mind chose some for you and they popped into your head. You had no more of a hand in choosing them as you did in choosing your height.

This happens in multiple aspects of life, think of a specific genre of music that you just can’t stand to listen to, why is it that genre? Was it a choice, or something you couldn’t control?

Similarly, when someone tells me homosexuality is a choice, I ask them when they chose to become a heterosexual.

You may not think someone with a large nose is attractive, but before you make fun of them for it, remember that they didn’t choose it any more than you chose where you were born.

We are who we are. Sure, there are plenty of things about ourselves that we can change – but we can’t alter our nature or whatever biological hand of cards the genetic dealer put on our table.


The truth is, each of us just wants to be happy. We all love, hurt, laugh and cry. We all feel pain, and we all feel joy. These are the things that make us human. These are the things that bind us together.

We must appreciate our similarities, as well as accept and respect our differences. “Tolerance” will not bring happiness, as tolerance is simply putting up with someone. Acceptance is the first small step down a long hallway of peace.

There is no superior or inferior, just different.

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  1. trudyconley on March 8, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Amen, brother!

  2. CL Mannarino on March 8, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    This. All of it.

  3. mcbrown91 on March 8, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    You should watch the documentary by Tom Shadyac, “I Am.”

  4. monetwhispers on March 9, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Reblogged this on monetwhispers.

  5. jenniferlthorpe on March 9, 2014 at 11:00 am

    Reblogged this on Copy Cat Content and commented:
    Accepting others…

  6. rlcarterrn on March 9, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    I love this post so much, especially the last line.

  7. kathyjustsaidthat on March 10, 2014 at 12:50 am

    Reblogged this on kathysays Blog and commented:
    Kathysays preach on!

  8. kennynmn on March 12, 2014 at 7:38 am

    Reblogged this on kennynmn's Blog.

  9. bmartindale1 on March 12, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    Reblogged this on baileymartindale and commented:
    One of my favorite blogs. He has some good insight.

  10. lesliehooks1 on March 14, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Reblogged this on BE THE CHANGE: The L. Hooks Project and commented:
    Great blog post! Please follow my blog! I’d love to gain more perspectives on education, the community, and everyday living. Thank you in advance for your support!

  11. lonelygirl on April 2, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Its great that you recognised that somethings can’t be changed. Sometimes people make jokes of things which other people are born with, it affects their self perception of themselves.

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