The Secret To Understanding Women


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The female mind is one of the most intriguing enigmas known to man. It can be fascinating, or frustrating, both for men and women.

Men want to understand women, naturally, to be “better” with them, and build stronger relationships, both intimately, and in other aspects of life. And women want to understand themselves (don’t we all?).

This universal desire is the foundation for endless theories and discussions about what women want, and how to understand them.


Alas, here it is, finally, the secret to understanding women:

There is no secret.

Disappointed? Don’t be. This freeing realization unlocks the limiting chains of grouping all women, or any mass of people, into a singular classification with a universal remote. The goal of “understanding women” is like trying to understand any other group of people as if they were all one – when they are very much not.

Individual personalities, wants, needs, upbringings, and backgrounds, all create beautifully unique, intricate individuals. Is there a bigger disservice to be done than trying to take away that individuality?

We must forget the idea of understanding women as a whole, and begin to focus on learning and understanding a woman, or any individual, for who they are. Patience, conversation, listening, and observing, are all the keys to unlocking the inner beauty of any person.


When asked “If you could send a message to the opposite sex in hopes of helping them understand you better, what would it say?” Teresa Howlett Kelly responded:

Listen ( REALLY listen) when I talk – hear me …don’t be afraid to ask questions… share your thoughts with me as well.. know that my past is just that …. my past.. I have no regrets- I learned lessons and am stronger and better for it ….

Jennifer Givan said:

Throw every preconceived idea you have out the window about women. Get to know me for who I am and don’t try to make me into someone I’m not.

Victoria Danielle:

Make an effort to make me feel special from time to time because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. It would be nice to feel appreciated. It really is the little things that count!

And finally, wise words from Rolanda Noguera:

If you want me(women) to respect you as a man, then give that same respect. Communicate honestly but not in a hurtful way. Understand that every woman is different. Whether we’re Ultra feminine to laid back plain Jane. But deep down inside we ALL want to be romanced, respected.

Feel like you will use your strength to protect us, not hurt us. Know that you are a Man of your word and also to feel wanted,  adored.  If I could find a man like that I would be the happiest woman in the world and he would be my heart and soul.



Women are not as complicated as we think. They want to be loved, cared for, and respected. But each of those words means something different to every one of them – and it is our job to discover those individual meanings.

The returned love, respect, and adoration of the woman you care about will increase your happiness on your good days and light the way through your bad days.

By trying to group women together, we do ourselves as much as a disservice as we do them. We take away their beautiful individuality, and we also rob ourselves of the unparalleled joy of experiencing their uniqueness.

Embrace their individuality, as you embrace your own.

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  1. sbdiaries on December 26, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Well said, beautifully done!

  2. jhazi on December 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    This was perfect! There is no secret to the sexes. People are just people. Loved it.

  3. tinemagpayo on December 26, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    Certainly a great read! Happy holidays! 🙂

  4. Darrin V Hardin on December 27, 2013 at 8:41 am

    Well done.

  5. femaleramblings on December 28, 2013 at 8:07 am

    This is bang on the money! X

  6. erinkcamp on December 29, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    Reblogged this on

  7. fulon on December 31, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Truely said….. just touched my heart

  8. leolife on January 1, 2014 at 11:45 pm

    this is well written with much thought and observation..makes you think

  9. beerandcrumpets on January 6, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    Well, hot damn. Women are people- it’s true. And I feel pretty good about speaking for my gender when I say that we like to be treated like people.

  10. JennKelso on March 12, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Nailed it!!!!!!!!

  11. OilyQueen on June 17, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    Absolutely! Perfectly stated, as always! Soon as I read “there is no secret” I knew this post would be perfect! I tell guys I’m unlike every other woman on the planet, but as soon as he realizes I’m right, he runs. Get to know me for me, and not what you think I should be, and you will have a loyal, appreciative woman on your side forever 🙂

  12. Danz Social Blog on June 17, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Reblogged this on Danz Social Blog and commented:
    Close to reality I must say. Thanks James

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