We are at a party on a roofdeck in the middle of Boston. It’s beautiful. Like, the kind of place you see in the movies, beautiful. The guy who owns this penthouse is spectacularly successful and is close with my new favorite people in Boston who run these events, The Good Ones.
Everyone is dressed in white, or in a toga. It’s a Grecian theme, with a modern take on Greek mythology. I’ve made a new friend, a great guy whose company provides organic dog products.
We are talking, and a girl who introduced herself to me earlier in the evening came over to join our conversation. She is in a white dress, has reddish hair, and eyes the color of a tropical ocean. The types of eyes that when she takes her sunglasses off the brightness is like Cyclops from the X-Men.
My new friend turns to her, waves his hand in front of her face, and says “I like your…stuff.”
We all laugh, because, well, it was funny. Like, what? It was a random unorthodox statement, and it was accidentally genius.
Why? Because it gave us something to talk about and joke about for the entire rest of the night. We would split up, hang at the bar, mingle, tell other people we “liked their stuff,” and then bring it back up again when we all converged.
There is a lot of pressure put on men to come up with topics of conversation. To be smooth and charming in social situations. The truth is, you don’t need to be perfect, you just need to put yourself into a situation where conversations flow, and just roll with it.
Think less about exactly what you’re going to say, and more about how you can spark a conversation that can make people let their guard down and enjoy themselves. Are people having fun around you? Smiling? Laughing? Are they comfortable? If the answer to at least some of these questions is “yes,” then your circle will gradually begin to grow as you become surrounded by those who are clearly having a good time.
The moral of the story: Find and surround yourself with positive people. Get into conversations. Be random, and be yourself. Because guess what? You will find that other people like your stuff, too.
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