As some of you know, my beautiful girlfriend has been fighting a (winning) battle against breast cancer for the past few months. She, thankfully, will be fine and have a full recovery, but the journey has been challenging.
One of the biggest roadblocks has been her (perceived) change in appearance. Chemotherapy, as we know, takes away your hair. Fortunately, on the outside, for her it hasn’t changed much else.
As any woman knows, a drastic change like this can be a massive blow to your self esteem. Besides the physical effects of such treatments, looking in the mirror is no longer the same, either.
I tell her, daily, that she is beautiful. I would do this no matter what, not because of her challenges. And I say it, because I mean it. But again, as women know – if you don’t feel sexy or beautiful, nothing anyone says matters.
Her hair, though not her own, looks amazing. Her eyes and smile shine the same as they always have, and she looks fantastic. She doesn’t look fantastic ‘for someone going through chemo,’ she just looks fantastic – period.
She of course, disagrees. As do many people who do their best to cover their insecurities for appearance purposes.
People who want to lose a few pounds. People whose noses are ‘too big.’ People with skin problems…everyone, male or female, has something they wish they could change about themselves.
What I tell Margot, just as I am telling everyone reading this, is that as hard as it is – sometimes you have to step outside of yourself and truly look in the mirror. Don’t see what you feel. Don’t see what you’re worried about. Don’t see what you wish you could change.
Just. See. You.
See the woman you know you are, and see how others see you. Your mental health and self image depends on it.
I guarantee you are being harder on yourself than you have to be.
I guarantee people don’t notice the tiny things that you’re dying to change.
Insecurities live one place only: In your head.
If people who meet Margot for the first time have no idea she’s battling cancer, then people you meet don’t see those five pounds you “have to” lose.
So, let your personality shine. Let your smile brighten someone’s day. Let go of the worries and insecurities that unrealistically photoshopped celebrities and models force upon you.
Dress yourself up, put on your makeup, do your hair, and above all…
Smile, dammit, because you are beautiful.
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