10 Things Men Don’t Really Care About
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Sometimes men get a bad rap for not noticing things, not paying attention to small details, and even just not listening in general. While I do often disagree with many of these generalizations, it is true that there are some things that we just don’t care about.
But, they might not be the kinds of things that you would think. Here is a quick rundown.
We don’t care that your hair or makeup isn’t perfect today.
Trust me, we appreciate the effort you put into looking great – whether it is just for yourself or for a nice event or for your first date with us. But don’t be so hard on yourself – if we are spending time with you, we are doing it because we want to, regardless of how you look.
We don’t care about those few extra pounds that you want to lose.
We all have insecurities – men included. Unless we look like Marky Mark’s Calvin Klein underwear ad, we have plenty of things we want to change about our own bodies, too. We just don’t talk about it as much. Odds are, the small things you are uncomfortable with are never anything a good man would complain about when being intimate with you. We just want to enjoy you.
We don’t care if you make more money than us.
Or less. Or the same. Or whatever. Men who are secure in themselves pay much more attention to who you are as a person and how you make us feel when we are around you, rather than what you choose to do for a profession. I would much rather a woman with a beautiful heart and a beautiful mind than the CEO of a major company who is cold and callous.
The happiness that comes along with loving what you do is more important than a paycheck that comes along with something you don’t.
We don’t care that you have a few drinks on a date.
As mature adults who know our limits when it comes to alcohol, we genuinely don’t mind if you loosen up a little bit or get a little giggly after too much wine. Feeling that you are comfortable around us will make us more comfortable around you. Two things that should be obvious with this point, though:
– Don’t overdo it.
– A good man will never take advantage of you because of this. Just two adults enjoying each other’s company.
We don’t care when you sleep with us.
That’s right. Whether it’s the first date or the fifth date – one thing remains constant: We probably already know whether we want to see you again before we know if/when you are going to sleep with us. We won’t judge you if you want to do it on the first date and we won’t stop calling you if you want to wait until the fifth. If we want to see you again, we will.
We don’t care if you text us first.
Many women don’t think they should text a man first because it shows desperation – this is not true. If he is not texting you and he is interested, he is likely thinking about it constantly but just doesn’t want to come across too strong. He will more than welcome seeing your name pop up on his phone and it will take the pressure off of him moving forward.
We don’t care what you look like when you wake up.
I have heard of some women who either won’t let men stay over until a certain amount of time has passed in the dating process, or that will go to bed with makeup on – because they don’t want him to see how they look when they wake up in the morning. The truth is, we don’t really care. I don’t mean this in an apathetic way, I mean it in a “If we are waking up next to you, we think you are beautiful no matter what” way.
We don’t care what you order for dinner.
Hopefully the stigma is not still around that women should eat like rabbits, especially while on a date. If you want a steak, order a damn steak. Don’t change what you eat when you are around us because of some nonexistent reason. Indulge!
We don’t care if you swear around us.
I have mentioned in other articles about how it’s not ‘ladylike’ to swear, and it’s not ‘gentlemanly’ either. But let’s be honest – we are all mature adults here and can handle the language. Needless to say, when we are in public or around family it’s best to keep the reins pulled in a little bit, but no guy is going to complain about a few F-bombs dropped here and there. It’s natural.
We don’t care if you are not perfect.
Nobody is perfect. Nobody. The word itself is essentially meaningless anyway because with 7 billion people in the world, no two will have the same image of perfection in their mind. So, stop worrying that you don’t look like the airbrushed model in the Victoria’s Secret advertisement. Stop worrying that you think your hair is too short to be sexy. Stop worrying about those couple of extra pounds. Stop worrying about your awkward birthmark. Stop worrying that you don’t have a stupid thigh gap.
We don’t care – because when you love someone for who they truly are, everything about them becomes beautiful.
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Well I am thinking the title to this post needs to stress that the men who don’t care are actually IN LOVE, as you state in your conclusion. I have had talks with “high quality” men both as “just a friend” and for writing purposes (character profiles for my fiction) and they very much DO notice and care about several of these things (especially what we look like when we wake up!) when initially dating. It would be fascinating to pinpoint exactly the time in the relationship when they begin to look deeper.
I like this a lot – I’m currently writing a piece about how all expectations I seem to create for myself are totally irrelevant when it comes to men. They don’t care about the same things that us women think they care about. Etc etc. I like this piece a lot, very true I think for men both in and out of relationships – genuine nice guys who like you for who you are, i.e., the ones that count.
I would definitely have to agree with Little Miss Menopause.
This is a list of things guys don’t care about once they’ve established that they really like the woman they’re seeing, or are already in love.
Guys most certainly do care what a woman looks like. It’s the first thing they even notice, and being out in public with my friends, we get much more attention when we are dressed up, with makeup, than if we weren’t.
I’ve also been out on a date with a guy where I ordered mac and cheese with bacon. I offered him a bite, he declined and then rather rudely he wrinkled his nose and said: “Yeah. THAT looks healthy.”
I am also from NYC and I’ll admit, sometimes I have foul mouth problems. I was on a date with a guy who said, “Don’t curse. You’re too pretty to curse.”
I’ve had guys become completely intimidated once they know I have two degrees and work for a large company. It’s a male ego thing, so yeah, guys care about this.
There is a difference between caring about what a woman looks like out in public and caring about what she looks like when she first wakes up. As I stated in the original point, if we are actually waking up next to you, we don’t care what you look like when it happens.
This, alone, implies the fact that there is some sort of affection or caring there so that is important to note.
As far as the guy who said “Yea. THAT looks healthy.” he sounds like kind of a dick. I wouldn’t say that to any woman regardless of how well I do or don’t know her. So, there’s that.
Men who are intimidated by successful women are clearly not the right type of man to be with a woman like that anyway. The tone of this article is not to imply that if we find a woman we actually care about, these things become secondary and any insecurity put forth on the specific subject is likely unjustified when we really get down to it.
I hope this helps clarify my points.
To the above points, I’m not currently involved or in love with a woman, and I agree with this post entirely. I genuinely don’t care about any of these things.
[…] “I have heard of some women who either won’t let men stay over until a certain amount of time has passed in the dating process, or that will go to bed with makeup on – because they don’t want him to see how they look when they wake up in the morning. The truth is, we don’t really care. I don’t mean this in an apathetic way, I mean it in a “If we are waking up next to you, we think you are beautiful no matter what” way.” – James Michael Sama […]
Since I have known quite a few men who have been very vocal about how much they DO care about virtually every item on this list, I would specify that you should look for men who don’t care about these ten things.
Oops – I see that a few people already made my point for me.
That’s a really sweet post, but not every guy is the same~!
http://himetoki.com
[…] Originally published on JamesMSama.com. […]
Thanks for this article. It’s genuinely comforting to know. You know us girls tend to get too hard on ourselves.
All of the negativity comes from gals talking about “guys” or “guys”… here I thought we were discussing MEN. When you find yourself a real, grown-up, bonafide MAN fella, you’ll know and this list will make sense and ring true.
Good luck, fishin’ ladies!
“Guys,” good luck, seems some of you have a way to go. You’ll get there.