It’s hard enough in today’s dating world to find someone that you even want to see more than a few times…so how can you determine if someone is actually “the one?”

It may not be as difficult as you think. Happy relationships aren’t just about the inherent qualities that your partner has. While that is obviously high up on the list, there are also other factors to consider. In this article we will discuss a few of them.

1: You love who you are when you’re with them.

A great relationship isn’t just how you feel about your partner, it’s also about how you feel about yourself when you’re with him or her. Do they bring out your best self? Do they support and encourage you to become better, but also love and accept you just how you are?

When you are with someone who could be the one for you, you will notice a magnification of the things you love about yourself and a decline in your insecurities. A relationship will have no long term potential if you don’t love the person you become when you are around your partner.

2: They love you as you are.

There is a difference between helping you improve as a person (while they do the same), and actually trying to change your nature or things that are inherent to your character.

Someone who truly loves you for you will have no reason to try to alter your personality. They will understand that it’s imperative for them to love who you are, and not who they secretly wish for you to be.

3: They continue to put in effort for you.

Whether it means still performing small romantic acts, or slightly more elaborate gestures it’s important that these things don’t end after the “honeymoon phase.”

Someone who is serious about staying in your life will know that the things they did in order to get your attention, will be the things they need to continue to do in order to keep it.

4: When something major happens, they’re the first person you tell.

Did you land a big promotion at work? Is your best friend pregnant? It’s a good sign if you can’t wait to call your partner or see them to keep them updated with everything going on in your life.

5: You get along with each others’ families.

Understandably everyone has different family situations and not every happy couple has complete approval from the “in-laws,” but at the same time if you are in a serious relationship with someone, there are holidays, special occasions, and life events that require everyone being together, even if it’s not on a regular basis.

If this is someone that your family enjoys being around and they fitin well, then you’ve crossed a huge hurdle — because this can be a big red or green light in your relationship.

6: You don’t hesitate to plan things in advance.

Oh, your friend is getting married next year out of state but both of your flights are already booked? It’s probably a good sign that you’re not questioning how much longer the two of you are going to be together — you are just under the assumption that your relationship will stay happy and healthy, as it is now.

7: Your “arguments” are civil.

Not everyone will agree about everything all the time (though, it is definitely possible to have a virtually drama-free relationship) — but what speaks to the health of a relationship more than whether or not there are disagreements, is how well they are handled.

A solid relationship should be between two partners who feel comfortable in their ability to express any concerns to each other, and have a mature conversation that leads to a resolution.

8: You have similar views of the future.

I have mentioned this in other articles before, but it is important when speaking of a potentially life-long relationship. Needless to say, there can always be compromise, but if you have fundamentally different goals for the future (He wants to be an explorer and move to the Sahara, but you want to be an accountant in Mobile, Alabama), then you probably won’t be agreeing to a proposal anytime soon.

9: They are proud to be with you.

The right person for you won’t be shy about showing you off to the world or telling their friends and family how amazing this person is who they finally found after years of the wrong relationships. You might even catch them bragging about you now and then, or consistently get “I’ve heard so many great things about you” from new people in their life that you meet.

10: There is mutual respect.

Respect between partners is perhaps the cornerstone of everything else in this article, especially love itself. Love and respect go hand in hand, without one — the other cannot exist.

There will be no future for a relationship that lacks deep personal respect between partners. This will make or break life decisions that affect you both and your relationship as a whole. You could have everything else in this article, but if you don’t truly respect each other, it may be time to reevaluate the direction you’re taking.

The bottom line is this — while these lists can give you ideas and guidelines for what it’s good to look for in a partner and/or a relationship, nobody but you will truly know what you feel inside about a person. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself about what and who is best for you. The rest will fall into place.

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