5 things men are never taught about women (but should be)


Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Untitled design (24)


Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably seen the abhorrent out-in-the-open groping of Ariana Grande at Aretha Franklin’s funeral by this bishop:


You can find the video if you’re so inclined, but to say it’s uncomfortable is an understatement. The entire time you’ll just sit there asking yourself: What in the blue hell is he thinking?

This, unfortunately, is something that happens all day every day around the world, but Ariana Grande’s public example is simply the latest visible one.

With such a wide variety of men around the world who perpetuate this type of behavior, we cannot chalk it up to a specific religion, race, culture, or background. ALL kinds of men EVERYWHERE struggle to understand, communicate, and appropriately interact with women. Could it be because nobody is actually teaching them how to?

Men and women are neurologically different.

“Big whoop, captain obvious!” Hear me out…

We learn as kids that boys and girls have different parts and all of that vanilla sex education, but what about the fundamental structural differences in the male and female brains?

I don’t remember learning that women have a ‘communication center’ that is 2.5 times physically larger than a man’s, giving a higher ability to express emotions.

I don’t remember learning that little girls scan faces for micro-expressions in order to read emotions, but little boys don’t.

I don’t remember learning about the biological pathway that women walk over the course of their lives and the physical and emotional changes that happen along the way…

Perhaps, if we did learn more than just biology in sophomore year in high school – perhaps a social biology course that would actually help us understand and interact with each other, we would have a more harmonious society and a deeper mutual understanding.

You don’t need to be rich to find a good woman.

Sure, women value stability and security (as everyone should), which are often results of relative financial comfort – but women who are looking for real love are NOT often the same women looking to be ‘sponsored’ by their own personal trust fund and allowance.

Our society is painting a picture through social media that the happiest couples are the ones with the houses and cars and vacations, the ones who never seem to work. All they do is go to the gym and eat organically and travel the world.

The REALITY is that the woman who is going to be your true teammate in life, is looking for just that in return. She will value the depth of your character far more than the depth of your wallet.

Women are human beings just like you.

OH, SHIT. That’s right, I said it.

People have been accusing me for the past 5 years of putting women on a pedestal and making it sound like they can do no wrong – which couldn’t be further from my actual thoughts.

Nobody is perfect. I have had my heart broken more than I care to admit. I’ve felt betrayed. I’ve been hurt and lied to and deceived.

So has just about every other man I have ever known.

But, we grow up being conditioned that we need to pursue women and cater to their every move. This creates generation-wide waves of men who see women as a goal to be achieved, a prize to be won, an ideal being who needs to approve of us in order for us to ‘be a man.’

We are all human beings, no matter how much money, status, or beauty we possess. Men will be able to communicate better with women when they understand that she is just a person with wants, needs, desires, fears, loves, and insecurities – just like he is.

She still wants you to be the man.

In the age of equality, many men assume that women no longer want chivalry or romance. That they no longer want to be taken to dinner or have doors opened for them.

Just because a woman may be in charge from 9-5 on Monday through Friday, doesn’t mean she wants the same responsibilities in a relationship. At the end of the day, many women still appreciate a man who is the man,and will make plans for them on date night. A man who still romances her. A man who is chivalrous and respectful. A man who understands that a woman can be independent and should still be treated as a lady.

Nothing you do ever entitles you to her body.

It doesn’t matter if you spent $300 on dinner. It doesn’t matter if you’ve always been nice and kind to her. It doesn’t even matter if you’re MARRIED.

Being an autonomous, living, breathing human being means a person has 100% control over their own decisions affecting their own bodies at all times.

The “prize to be won” mentality perpetuates this myth of being able to do whatever you want once you’ve put in the work, forgetting that there is a real human being at the other end of the equation.


What lessons would you teach (or have you already taught) to boys growing up so they become men who can maintain healthy relationships of all kinds with women? Comment below.

Are you a man who excels in his professional life but struggles in your personal and love lives? Click here to explore private coaching options designed to help you overcome these challenges

Photo: Sky News.


  1. quinzy52Ronald Messier on September 3, 2018 at 5:22 pm

    James, My parents separated when I was 12. When I was 14 I met my “Big Brother” who would be taking the place of my father. He taught me a lot about women and sex. He told me many times over the almost 12 years I knew him that “women are not like us”. You need “To take things slow. to warm them up for sex”. He said they “need a lot of foreplay” to be warmed up and ready. Also he taught me a lot about respect when it comes women. I have not met anyone yet, but when I do I will know enough to treat her right.

  2. Henry on September 8, 2018 at 12:13 am

    When is James going to outgrow his fantasies of females? The world waits.

    • Carrie on November 14, 2018 at 1:00 pm

      I have a vagina and I’m here to tell you James is absolutely correct in regards to everything he just said. Where’s your blog? The world waits. By all means, YOU tell me about myself then. James is doing pretty good considering he is not a woman.

  3. Rolf on September 8, 2018 at 12:41 pm

    How uncomfortable it is to see whore makeup and cleavage at a funeral. That went right over James’ head didn’t it?

    • Carrie on November 14, 2018 at 1:03 pm

      Oooooohhhhh, right…how dare she dress up and look nice. That poor guy, he had a beautiful, well made up young woman come close to him. How could he NOT put his hands all over her? Sit down dude. Arianna looked far from a whore. Check yourself.

  4. Frank on September 8, 2018 at 12:53 pm

    Nothing you do ever entitles you to her body. Ha ha, that’s funny. But say ¨I do¨ and the b**ch is entitled to most of your money, the house and the kids. Maybe even the dog.

  5. David Milstone on October 21, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    “She still wants you to be the man.” Not sure where this comes from, James. Some heterosexual couples do want this, but some prefer to toss gender stereotypes and assume roles that each partner is most comfortable with. This article also omits same-sex relationships – if both partners are male, are you saying that both should be the “man?” Also if both are female, are you saying that one needs to be the “male?”

    • Carrie on November 14, 2018 at 1:06 pm

      That’s because this article is about heterosexual dynamic. If you want to read about a homosexuality dynamic, then find one.
      P.S. I am Pansexual and was with my last girlfriend for a decade. So don’t try to say I’m anti LGBTQ, I’m IN that community. Just read a different article kid.

  6. Carrie on November 14, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    I’d like to say, as the only woman that showed up to comment, that James is onto something in regards to the heterosexual dynamic, and I agree with him. I typically do not enjoy it when a MAN tells me about WOMEN….unless of course he is correct. As a bonafide female, I fully support your work James. Well done. The rest of you men commenting can SIT DOWN.

  7. […] article was originally published at James Michael Sama. Reprinted with permission from the […]

Leave a Reply

Website Stats

  • 39,223,118 Total Visitors


Download your free Ebook 15 Ways to Know You're Dating a Gentleman


This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: No feed found.

Please go to the Instagram Feed settings page to create a feed.


Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Untitled design (24)
%d bloggers like this: