While many positive qualities of a potential partner are not gender-specific, when I write articles such as 15 Signs You’re With A Good Man, I feel compelled to also discuss the other side of the coin.
It is true that the value of the woman in a man’s life should be appreciated by him daily and he should never need a reminder, but I also frequently encounter many good women who feel overlooked and under-appreciated in the dating world. Coupled with men who feel that their dating options are limited, it makes me wonder if we really know what to look for.
Here are some sounds you may have found Mrs. Right.
You really don’t know what people are complaining about.
Women complain about men, and men complain about women. But when you are commiserating with your friends and find yourself without much to say and unable to relate to the negative things they feel about their partner, it is a good sign you have found yourself a keeper.
You can completely open up to her.
It takes a special type of woman to get us, as men, to entirely let our guards down and reveal our inner-most secrets to her. If you find yourself so comfortable that you can tell her things you wouldn’t even tell your closest friend – recognize how rare this is and hold onto her.
You want to share everything with her.
The minute something happens in your life, good or bad, big or small, think about the first person you want to text or call with the news. She may or may not come before your family depending on your relationship with them, but take it as a good sign when she is at the top of your list.
Her happiness is your happiness.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein
You are still two different people with individual lives.
While a great relationship is a team in which two equal partners take on the world together, it is also important that there is not dependence or reliance on one another. For long term success, we have to understand that we are not two people who complete each other, but two people who are already whole and accept each other completely.
You genuinely miss her when she’s not around.
Not just the casual exchange of “miss u” texts when one of you is out of town or has been gone for awhile, but that you can feel her absence. When you stare longingly upon her part of the couch or her empty side of the bed until she gets back, you will know her presence brings value to your life.
She willingly compromises with you.
Love is selfless. It requires us, at times, to put our partner’s happiness ahead of our own. But we don’t see it as sacrifice, because as mentioned a couple of points ago, their happiness is your happiness. The important thing to remember though, is that this goes both ways. If you are with a woman who willingly makes compromises for you (without complaining – as you do for her) she should never be taken for granted.
She brags about you.
I don’t know about you, but when I really love someone and am proud of their achievements (whether it be a family member or a significant other), I love to tell everyone about it. If her family and friends already know all of the great things about you before they even meet you, it is a sign she is proud of you and has been talking you up.
You don’t hesitate about planning the future.
I don’t necessarily mean getting engaged or having children, but you have no hesitancy when it comes to making plans for something coming up months from now. There is a concert she wants to go to during the holidays but it’s only May? No problem, tickets bought! Her friend is getting married overseas next year? You are already looking at hotels. Good signs.
She makes you feel comfortable with yourself.
Men have insecurities too, we may just not talk about them as much. The right woman for you will love you for you, and help you let go of small things you want to change like that spare tire that has grown a little more than you would have liked. She will make you feel attractive and sexy just like you do for her.
…But not that comfortable.
Comfort should never turn into complacency. If you are with the right woman, her presence in your life will be enough to keep you motivated to keep working on and improving yourself. This means accepting that spare tire, but getting your ass to the gym to get rid of it. You want to fee, look, and do better. Both for yourself, and for her.
You are totally cool traveling together.
There’s a reason why a couple’s first trip together is a big deal – it can teach you new things about a person. How they handle stress when you are running late for your flight, what some of their secret habits are, what it’s like to spend a full week with them without separation…
When you are with the right person, experiences like this will bring you closer together. Not pull you apart.
She genuinely expresses interest in your life.
Does she remember details about what your friends and family are going through? Do you feel like when she asks you about them she is genuinely interested and not just asking to be polite? This is a big part of being selfless and shows interest in your entire life, not just the parts that involve her.
People comment about how happy you seem.
Of course a relationship is just between two people and you are the only ones who know what goes on behind closed doors. These days, it is difficult to keep things private because of the prevalence of social media.
But, that being said, often times people on the outside have a clear view of how two people are with each other because their opinions are not clouded by emotions. If people consistently comment on how happy you seem since you have met her and the light she has brought to your life, there is probably something to it.
You have similar views for the future.
Sure, there are always compromises to be made – but if you are really looking for something long term (potentially lifelong), it’s important that you are on the same page – or at least in the same book – when it comes to what you want for yourself and your life. This usually comes along with similar values and ambitions.
In the end, though, great relationships don’t require rules or checklists to be identified. They just need two people who love and care for each other. Two people who are willing to work through challenges together. Two people who are fully committed to each other and put in consistent effort.
She will be not only your lover – but your friend. Your equal. Your confidant. The one you turn to for support when things go wrong and to celebrate with when things go right. She will be your teammate in life, on the journey alongside you.
People will always have their own input on your relationship – but they will never be you or know how you truly feel inside. When you know that you have found the woman you want to be with, that is the only reason you’ll need.
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