If you are reading this, I would venture a guess to say that you have been hurt at some point in the past. It may have been a relationship that ended, a loved one or pet who was lost, or any other emotionally challenging experience in your life that you are the only person on the planet who has ever experienced.
This is a common thread we all share. Regardless of where we are from, age, race, social standing – whatever, we have all felt heartache.
Breakups are never easy, regardless of which side you are on. If you are being broken up with, the feeling of loss and rejection by the person you love is devastating. If you are the one doing the breaking up, it is likely you face your own challenge of breaking the heart of the person whom you shared many great memories with, but are just not in love with anymore.
Either way, we sometimes find ourselves with that “I’m never drinking again” mentality that comes to mind the morning after a long night. But, both feelings have something in common: They eventually fade away, and might even disappear.
They disappear as time passes, because the pain we feel becomes less real and is replaced by the same excitement we had before we felt it. Heartbreak takes time to heal, but even though it may feel like it, it is not permanent.
Because it is not permanent, we are able to have hope for the future even when we are in pain. We know, someday, this feeling will end. We have to allow ourselves the time needed to cope and move through it, but the light at the end of the tunnel certainly helps.
When the feeling does pass and we find ourselves moving on, the only thing we should bring with us from that pain is the lessons it taught us. We have to be careful not to carry any negativity from an old relationship into a new one, because it is a brand new person and a brand new situation. To take out anger on somebody new for the actions of someone old, is like refusing to ever buy a car again because your last one broke down. When you go out to buy a new car, you are starting all over again, from scratch.
I certainly would not want to be held accountable for the actions of an ex boyfriend, as I’m sure none of you would, either. So when we are on the other end of this situation the only way to give a fair chance to someone new who has entered our lives, is to see them as exactly that.
Painful experiences change us. They teach us new things. They show us who we are in times of adversity. They open doors to new parts of life after closing others behind us. But they don’t have to break us, and we can move forward to happiness again, if we decide to.
Be careful when building walls to keep out people who might hurt you, because you could also keep out those who will make you happy. Be more careful about who you give your trust to, but understand that there are people out there who are willing to earn it, if you let them.
If you’re reading this right now, you have a 100% success rate for getting through challenges in your life, and you will get through the one you are facing right now. Always remember, tough times don’t last, but tough people do.
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