Why She Ended It: 5 Dating Dealbreakers
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This article is not meant to place the blame on anyone – I understand that breakups are painful, and are often a combination of multiple circumstances and not just a single reason.
Sometimes, we are left wondering what the real reason is. We hear phrases like “I just need some space” or “I need to focus on my career right now,” but if a woman chooses to walk away, there are plenty of other possible reasons.
You’re still too close to your ex.
While sometimes I’d imagine it to be possible to remain friends with your ex, under rare but feasible circumstances – certain things need to be in place when you enter into a new relationship.
If you insist on keeping up the communication, do yourself and your new girlfriend a favor and limit your interactions. Still hang out with her? Make sure your new girlfriend is fully aware of every detail – leave nothing to be suspicious about or jealous over. Even invite her along to see that there is nothing to be concerned about.
And most of all – never make your current girlfriend feel like the 3rd wheel. Your actions will show her where your priorities lie.
You’re inconsistent or flaky.
We’ve all got our own social lives outside of our relationship, but don’t make the two compete with each other. If you consistently start bailing on plans (especially ones you made) because something else came up or your friend wants to play Call Of Duty, she’s going to feel like you don’t really care.
It’s important for both partners in a relationship to be flexible and understand that plans change and things come up, but it’s how often it happens and how well you handle it when it does, that counts.
You’re too apathetic.
I understand that a lot of guys aren’t very affectionate or great about expressing their feelings, but it’s only natural in a relationship to want to feel wanted and cared for. If you are too aloof about your feelings or don’t show her much affection, she’s inevitably going to start wondering why.
If you’re trying to “play it cool” and not come on strong, remember, you’re already with this girl. If she’s committed herself to you, she wants to know that you care – and if she thinks you don’t, she might leave you first to avoid the heartache. Nobody wants all of that caused by a simple miscommunication.
You give her no space.
I know man, I just said not to worry about coming on strong. But there’s a difference between showing someone your affection and smothering them until they feel socially suffocated. She should be a big part of your life, but not the entire thing.
If you follow her around like a puppy dog or insist on spending every single second together, she will feel like you’re emotionally crushing her and will need to get out. Fast.
Give her some space and some time to miss you. Plus – she wants you to have your own dreams, passions, and ambitions – not just hitch yourself to hers.
Your wallet is air-tight.
I really hope this doesn’t spark an “all women want is money” conversation, because I’m not talking about you being Bill Gates over here. All I’m saying is, women work just as hard for their money as men do – and if you’re going to be a bad tipper, always insist on splitting the bill with her (don’t do that), or complain about prices even when you’ve offered to take her to dinner, her image of you is going to drop like a rock in a lake.
No woman expects you to constantly shower her with gifts or spend 7 nights a week in a 5-star restaurant, but if you’re on a budget, put a little more effort into your dates and do reasonably priced, more creative activities.
*Bonus – This will show her you’re willing to put in effort to come up with fun things to do together, the exact opposite of being too apathetic.
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If you feel like you may need a little help in the dating department:
Here are 7 Dating Habits We Should Be Practicing, 5 Simple Ways To Keep Her Happy, and if your relationship has already ended – 7 Ways To Get Over Your Ex.
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I have to say that you are right on the money and I can appreciate the input. What I don’t think happens to much any more (or i hope it doesn’t anymore) is being to close to your ex. I have plenty of friends that I have known for years that have more negative to say about their ex than the new chick!! I think with all the self-made young thousand-ares that are now creating the new make up of society, people have become a little more picky I think. The only good thing about the ex that I frequently hear today is “I’m glad I didn’t leave that situation with too much baggage!” The new girl is starting to appreciate what she may have gotten and the ex is looking to meet the next guy that has to be better than the last one.
I would love to read “why HE ended it: 5 dating deal breakers”
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Enjoyable and spot on…those definitely would be deal breakers..along side the “cheating bf”
#1 and #2 were dealbreakers for me with my ex-gf. It’s tough to invest in a relationship when your partner lacks common courtesy and respect towards you.