10 Ways To Know You’re Dating A True Gentleman

I’ve made posts in the past about qualities of a gentleman, as well as the differences between a ‘bad boy’ and a jerk. But, how does this all translate into how somebody acts while in a relationship?

A man may be able to put across a great image, but it could simply be a cover for hidden shortcomings, or he could just be totally faking it to ‘get the girl.’

Here are some ways to know if you’ve struck gold:


A true gentleman values more than just your looks.

Is every compliment from him about a different body part? It doesn’t matter how creative he can be, if a guy’s sole focus is on how you look, or ‘talking dirty,’ see it as a red flag. A real man will value your personality, your kindness, your intelligence, and who you are as a person, in general. The things he makes you feel good about will be things that you control, not just results of getting lucky in the gene pool.

A true gentleman will never be intimidated by your motivation.

A man who has goals for himself, will want to be with a woman who has goals for her own life, too. He will never feel intimidated or threatened by a woman who goes after what she wants. He will want to be part of a power couple, rather than a dictatorship. Be mindful of anyone who tries to keep you from pursuing your dreams.


A true gentleman will have more interests than just you.

I don’t mean this in a negative way. You should, of course, be a priority in his life – but he needs to have a life as well. Interests, friends, hobbies, aspirations. If a man works his entire life around you, it’s another red flag – relationships should be a great part of your life, but not encompass your whole life.

A true gentleman will give you answers.

No matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation is, a real man will approach it, and you, with respect. I have always felt that a mark of a man is how he handles conflict, criticism, and less-than-ideal situations. A man will not dance around answers or make excuses. If there is something you two need to talk about, he will talk about it.


A true gentleman is direct.

In addition to the last point – there will be no mind games or manipulation in your relationship. A man will be direct, to the point, and honest with you…but with kindness.

A true gentleman will trust you.

As long as you haven’t betrayed his trust, a man will NOT be paranoid, or snoop around invading your privacy to make sure you’re not doing anything bad. He will have confidence in your relationship. A boy will project his own insecurities onto you, and like termites in a house, will eat away at the foundation of what you’ve built.


A true gentleman is cool, calm, and collected.

It should be understood that part of what comes with the territory of having a girlfriend, is dealing with her getting hit on. If you’re at the bar together, or if she’s out with her friends, it goes without saying that your girlfriend will get hit on every once in awhile.

Instead of letting his primate instincts prevail and beating his chest like an angry gorilla to scare off competition, a confident man will calmly make his position known, and understand that you’re still going home with him at the end of the night.

A true gentleman will show you respect.

Nothing signifies an empty shell of a man more than someone who disrespects women, animals, or children. A good man will treat you with the respect that you deserve, never force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and never mistreat you. Be honest enough with yourself to walk away from any situation that is dangerous to you, physically or emotionally.


A true gentleman will put effort into your relationship.

Boys are generally apathetic and just look for one thing from a woman. A man, will do what it takes to make you happy, both inside and outside of the bedroom. Your happiness, is his reward.

A true gentleman will make you want to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you really are.

A man will empower those around him. He will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well. This not only includes friends and co-workers, but also significant others.

As Mark Twain said – Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

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879 thoughts on “10 Ways To Know You’re Dating A True Gentleman

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  22. I’ll let you know if I ever find one. Men I’ve met so far have only PRETENDED to be gentlemen. A man wearing a suit isn’t enough to win me over. He has to be able to put effort into our mutual relationship. He also has to keep his promises. If a man tells me he cares about me, but then leaves me alone, I’d start thinking he’s quite a dodgy character. If a man can’t follow up what he tells me, I wouldn’t waste much time on him. I just have to find out where this kind of gentleman is. I need a man who respects me enough to check up on me. I don’t want a man who is two-faced.

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  25. I think that all points that are mentioned above are true. But also remember that in order to get a real gentleman, the woman has also to contribute properly to the relationship.
    For a man to choose a women, he would need to be sure that she also deserves his love and dedication. Men who are not teenagers usually make a conscious decision whom to love, set boundaries to themselves and stick to that lady they chosen.
    Surely there have to be sexual attraction between them, but that is complementary regarding their way of looking at things and respecting each other.
    When the decision is made consciously and both parts respect each other and work on solving any issues that arise, and issues always arise, the relationship can last and can become a nest from paradise.
    If any part handles the relationship out of momentary emotions, becomes nervous on his/her partner about any tiny thing that they face, or if one side always gives up, while the other side always increases his/her influence, the relationship will never last and will never be beautiful.
    Least but not last, there are temptations all around us for both sides, man and a woman, when deciding upon taking a relationship seriously, an inner taboo and setting limits should adopted by both sides, and not continue dreaming of a better relationship, while holding the existing one as a sort of temporary solution until better is found. If that is the case, better not enter the relation at all.
    Happiness does not occur because we find the best ever match on earth, it happens because when we find a “somehow” proper match, we are satisfied and we immediately quit thinking of a better match. Contentment is the key to happiness and hard work on the relationship. But the result is magical and life can become heaven on earth for the couple.

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