The argument has been made that biologically, humans are not hardwired to be monogamous. We are simply evolved primates whose natural drive is to reproduce, and we all know it takes work to reproduce – the stork doesn’t just show up carrying a baby.
This primal urge does overcome some people (men AND women), but it is often women who are more vocal about their dissatisfaction with the male race than the other way around, so I’m focusing on men here.
If it weren’t for the institution of marriage constructed by society, there would be nothing binding two people together, not even children. And, what is a marriage contract but words on a piece of paper? There is no physical commitment to stay faithful, only emotional.
But, that can be enough. While we might be hardwired to chase after anything with two legs, we are also an emotional animal, craving love and connections with each other. One of the strongest loves or connections you can feel, is with your significant other.
See, that’s the thing. As men, we are often driven by sex, but nobody said it had to be sex with a variety of people. I believe if you find someone who you have a strong emotional connection with, the desire for a physical act that really doesn’t mean anything, begins to fade away.
It’s a process. Sure, one needs to test the waters in order to learn what kind of person they want to be with, but that’s the point of committing to someone at the end of the process – you are committed only to them.
I think even without the institution of marriage, there would still be some people who would remain monogamous. Maybe not forever, but at least for as long as they were together.
A man who genuinely cares about your feelings would never mess around behind your back – not only would he not want to, but your happiness should be his happiness, and the thought of devastating you, should be devastating to him.
A real man won’t even have time to go out and find other women, because he’ll be too busy loving the one he already has.Follow @JamesMSama
- A response to: ‘Confessions of a Serial Cheater’ (jamesmsama.wordpress.com)